Before The End (One Direction)

14. Clean Part 2

The song for this part is Sober by P!nk. I feel like it just fits.

Harry's POV~

"Harry, are you okay?" Brevin asked me after a very long moment in silence within the bathroom. I was staring at it. The bag had a magnetic and unbreakable bond with my eyes. I couldn't force my eyes to look anywhere else no matter how hard I tried.

"No," I muttered quietly. "I don't think I am." I felt the dark desire bubbling in my chest drowning out all sense.

Brevin looked at me quizzically. "Nick said you were going to be calling me as soon as you got back. Where've you been mate?" He was studying my face for any clue as to what was going on. He was undoubtedly confused. None of my friends from that corner had ever seen me this way.

"I've... I've been held up lately." Just like that, my outlook changed. It was no longer about making sobriety my bitch. It was about figuring out how to sneak out of this restroom without Louis seeing me. It was about feeling the burn of the drug in my nose and letting all the pain that had been building up inside of me flow out. I didn't care about the future, or bettering myself. It was all about right here and right now. I wanted to get high so badly.

"Where have you been getting your hookup then?" Brevin looked an me confused. He stared at my pathetic form intensely. He took in my shaking hands and tired eyes and suddenly, realization rolled acrossed his face like a mask. "You haven't."

I shook my head trying to keep my expression blank. It didn't work. A random flow of emotions were hitting me like a truck again. I shuddered as I felt the sweat build up on my forehead, plastering my hair down. I couldn't hide the orchestra of panic and terror within.

"How long has it been Harry?" He asked me seriously.

I rubbed my eyes. "A... a couple days."

Brevin looked conflicted for a second. For a terrifying second, I thought he would reject me. Finally he said, "Look dude, I don't really know whats going on with you right now. Don't take this the wrong way but you look absolutely terrible. I don't mind hooking you up though. You want me to help you out?"

I stepped back involuntarily. Then I shuffled back forwards and found myself incapable of forming words. I bit down on my lip hard and shakily nodded. My mind began racing through everything I'd been through the last few days and how miserable I'd been. I just wanted to go to bed easy and sleep again. I wanted to stop vomiting after every meal. I wanted my pounding headache to cease.

"Okay, listen. I just used the last of my stuff," he crinkled the bag to show me it was empty. "We can go back to my place and pick up more if that works for you?" He looked as if he genuinely wanted to help me.

I nodded again. "My... my friend is here waiting... for me."

"Oh, do you think they'd want to come?" He asked cheerfully. I think the notion that I wasn't alone was reassuring to him.

I almost laughed at the thought. "No, not all all." I frowned. "He can't see me leave."

Brevin nodded in understanding. I couldn't imagine what he thought of me right now. Regardless, he smiled and together we snuck out through the service hallway next to the restroom. I left Louis in the ice cream isle waiting on me.

Louis POV~

I stood in the empty isle waiting for Harry for a full twenty minutes before deciding to go check on him. I knew he'd been feeling ill, but it generally didn't take this long to throw up. I left my cart just out side the restroom and entered it nervous for what I might find. My wildest nerves still didn't prepare me for his absence.