Before The End (One Direction)

Epilogue~ The future

Last chapter!!!!! Be sure to read the end note at the bottom of this chapter for details about the next book in this story...(I've already written it all, there's actually like 5 books that just need to be typed and edited.... anyway the song for this chapter is Sounds of Silence, the disturbed cover!

Harry's POV ~

The suicide counselor at the hospital came to see me a day after I woke up in the intensive care unit of the hospital. They'd asked me why I'd done it and if I was planning to do it again and how the entire ordeal made me feel. I didn't know the answer to any of there questions. I didn't know how I was to respond to what I'd done. The only thing I was completely sure of was that I'd done it and the entire ordeal was etched into my brain like a movie on replay. The memories were blindingly clear to me and the scariest part was, I wasn't put off by it. My first thought when I'd awoken in the hospital was that I really wished I hadn't woken up. The feeling was equated with a strong joy for the fact that I had. I was a bundle of ugly conflicted emotions and making sense of them was impossible. After nearly two hours of questions and bullshit answers, they asked me if I had a safe and reliable place to go home to.

I thought back to my empty apartment where Cory and Annie and countless other dark people had accompanied me with there sinister practices and where my dead daughters bedroom sat empty and haunting and where I'd spent hours screaming and crying as drugs consumed my life. With those in mind, I answered, "No... I have nowhere."

That's when Louis walked out of the shadows of the doorway. He was the first person to be allowed up to see me, and the only name I'd given the nurse when she'd asked if anyone was permitted visit, as was the protocol for someone housed on the low risk psychiatric ward. He'd been the only name I could think of that might actually want to see me and the only friend I had who I was sure knew what actually happened.

He was pale and looked exhausted, with black rings beneath his eyes. I couldn't imagine I looked any better. His expression was unreadable but I could hear a hint of uneasiness as he said "Yes, he does." He looked at me and gave a ghost of his old smile. "I've already made up a room for you Harry."

I looked at him with clear skepticism as the counselor left the room.

"Just remember," he said. "There's going to be some rules."

I nodded in understanding. His blue eyes were locked in on mine with unreadable fear. They mirrored my own. "Th-the others...?"

"They don't know," he assured me.

I nodded again and bit down hard on my lip as he made his way into the armchair beside my bed. He looked me up and down, his eyes landing on my bloodied wrist for a long moment. I slipped it under the white sheet away from his gaze despite the growing heat in the room.

"I'm not upset with you," Louis told me softly as if reading my mind. "You'll have to try harder if you really want to upset me."

"If I try any harder you'll be attending my funeral," I said bluntly. He visibly flinched, crinkling his eyes as if in deep pain. "I'm sorry," I muttered staring at the sheets.

"It's fine," Louis began.

"I don't want to talk about what happened," I added biting my lip again. This time, I tasted blood.

"Understandable," Louis answered. "How do you feel?"

"They won't give me pain meds and the shrink just lectured me on why drug use is the reason for all my problems, so I've been better," I answered with a certain hysteria holding on to the edges of my voice. They were right to deny me the privilege of medication. They knew to an extent of my issues with narcotics and given the chance, I knew I wouldn't put on the sobriety mask. I wanted to use. From the moment I'd woken that morning, the craving to be high had been hanging in the air around me and I had no reservations about complying. "Also it's really nice that the entire world thinks I'm a drug addict now. My mum should be really proud." I blinked hard as a random stream of emotions hit me. I was suddenly faced with the full intensity of my situation in a way I hadn't recognized before. "Louis, I really fucked things up."