Before The End (One Direction)

22. Endings Are The Worst

The song for this chapter is suicide by Cathy Dennis... after the chapter, all that's left is the epilogue... enjoy. Also, I'm putting a trigger warning here because of certain content... be ready.

Harry's POV ~

Louis helped me talk to Annie and she was clean and sober for the week that followed. During that week she was back to her old pleasant self. It was like he entire attitude did a 180 and I was almost convinced that everything was going to be fine.

I helped her get her dads final affairs in order during that week and made sure that everything of importance was taken care of. We had long, careful and serious talks and it outwardly appeared as if everything would go back to normal. She even apologized for putting me through it all. Things were good.

We were so happy and so normal that I couldn't contain my shock at the sight of Annie with a needle stuck into her arm when I returned home early from our biggest stadium concert yet at the end of that week. Annie hadn't gone with us because she said she'd felt ill and wanted to sleep. I hadn't even questioned her about it. I'd allowed myself to naively believe that promises meant something coming from the mouth of an addict. I knew from personal experience that being alone clouded judgement and raised cravings.

The concert had been our best yet. I was in an extraordinary mood and was incredibly excited for the next three shows we were going to play in the same stadium over the next few days. I had been bursting at the seams to tell her about all the excitement she'd missed. The crowds screams! The encores! The post-show celebration! More fans than I'd ever seen before in one place!

When I found her in my room she was sitting on the corner of the bed with tears in the corner of her eyes as she expertly removed the emptied syringe from her vein, and discarded in into an empty twinky box so that I wouldn't see it in the trash. Blood pooled at the wound she'd created with the needle and the skin surrounding the puncture bruised purple. I saw her visibly relax as the poisen flooded her veins and entered her mind. I couldn't stop myself from gasping from my place in the doorway, causing her to dart her eyes up in shock. We made eye contact. Green met blue wordlessly for a long moment before I turned on heel and rushed from the room. I could hear her desperately call my name, but I didn't stop.

Liam was the first person I ran into as I made my way down the hall. I looked at him helplessly before stumbling into the bathroom and slamming the door behind me. With a click of the lock I let the anxiety build into my stomach in a twisting knot of nausea. The porcelain toilet bowl shined up at me as I vomited up everything I'd eaten at the post show celebration and let myself sob behind closed doors. Liam knocked on the door behind me as I shakily pulled myself up to the sink.

"Get your shit together Harry," I muttered to myself rubbing the tears from my eyes. My face was red and it was obvious I was experiencing a great deal of soul crushing emotion but I opened the door anyway. The boys had all gathered on the other side. They all wore similar expressions of confusion.

I couldn't find the words within me to explain what I'd bore witness to. Instead I stared at them with an intense look of hopelessness. With a deep breath I pushed past them and made my way back to my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I didn't face her upon my entrance, but I could sense her presence standing close behind me. I didn't want to see her. I could look at her without it killing me.

"How high are you?" I asked keeping my tone steady. I was acting way more confident than I felt.

"I'm fine," she muttered. I could tell by her slight wavering that she was nervous. She was rightfully so.

I took a deep breath to silence the choking sob that built up in the back of my throat. This was the end. I knew it. "Did you think I wouldn't notice when I got home?" Even if I hadn't caught her in the act, I would have known. I would have known that the person before me wasn't Annie, but a cheap drug induced knock off. I just wanted to know her thought process on the whole situation. I thought maybe if I understood, then maybe my heart wouldn't feel quite so destroyed.