Man Up (A Brendon Urie/Brallon Fanfiction)

Chapter 10

Sometimes, you're better off alone.

Dallon's PoV

"Show me." She whispers. Her eyes flicker down to his wrists. He looks at them, her, then around at the rest of us. Slowly, he tugs at his jacket sleeve, pulling them up to the crook of his elbow. They're so thin. We all look at the damage and start crying.

"She burnt you with a cigarette?" Brendon's older sister, Kara, sobs, pulling him into a huge hug.

"Only when I deserved it." He whimpers.

"You never deserved it, Brendon," his father says sternly, "Don't ever let her make you think otherwise. Nobody deserves or asks for abuse, okay?"

***

The press have been all over Brendon since Audrey was put away. He's started feeling the confidence to wear more t-shirts, and everyone is very supportive of him. However, paparazzi are everywhere, his photo on every magazine cover, exposing his bony, damaged skin.

He says he feels safer on tour than if he was alone in his house, so we've extended it slightly until he's more stable. He's starting to come into his own in performing again. I can't explain how happy it makes me. It's the only time you see some of the Brendon that Audrey never took from him. The side that can sing and perform with effortless talent, working the crowds that are always wonderfully supportive. Then he comes off stage and goes quiet again, and it's gone. The Brendon Audrey left behind comes back and he walks away by himself to cry.

Gradually, he's begun to open up to me, and each day he tells me something new that she would do to him. Hate hearing it as I do, I love being the one he runs to when he's scared. I love feeling wanted. He told me something the other night that made me feel both very warm and icy cold inside.

"I've never thanked you properly for saving my life like you did, Dallon. I-It got to a point where I thought the only way of escaping would be..."

He didn't say anything else. He didn't need to. I pulled him into my arms and held him for a long time.

He's so skinny still. His eating is poor. They've diagnosed him with a load of things, but I tend not to listen. He's not Brendon anymore. He's so sad, all the time. I hate it. I don't want to cry in front of him when he's the one who should be crying. I know he does it though. I know he gets up when everyone else is asleep and goes and sits outside the bus, screaming and crying by himself. I hate it.

"Dallon, can I talk to you?"

We're ten minutes away from going on stage. Brendon's in his black shiny stage pants and a plain black t-shirt, looking so effortlessly beautiful. I sigh at how pretty he is and nod, following him into the bathroom. He shuts the door behind us and sits on the edge of the sink.

"I'd like to go on stage tonight just like this," he says, gesturing to his current outfit, "Because it's so hot outside."

"You can do that." I smile at him.

"But I haven't worn just a t-shirt on stage in a long time, and I'm really scared." He says, looking down at his feet.

"You don't need to be scared. Everyone knows your story, everyone's here to support you, no matter what." I reassure him, placing my hand on his shoulder. He jumps at the contact, eventually relaxing.

"That's not it, though. Oh... Dallon..." he tries, looking up at me with tears streaming down his face. "I feel so scared of everyone. I feel like they all want t-to hurt me, and..."

He's cut off when I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight. "Nobody is going to hurt you ever again, not if I can help it. Everybody loves you, okay? Even if you don't think they do. You're a beautiful, brave human being and I love you so much."

He rests his chin on my chest and looks up at me. I melt into his eyes.

"Y-You love me?" He asks, blinking through tears. I sigh. You've done it now, Dallon. Just go with it. Who knows? It might be a mutual feeling.

"Yeah, I do." I say with a smile.

Suddenly, I feel his hands on my chest, pushing me away. I stumble backwards, catching myself before I fall over.

"That's just what Audrey used to say." He snaps, spinning on his heel and storming out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.