Man Up (A Brendon Urie/Brallon Fanfiction)

Chapter 19

Don't let me do this to myself.

Brendon's PoV

Tears streaming down my face, heart hammering too hard against my ribcage, I storm across the parking lot and into a town I've never been to before. I don't care where I'm going. A familiar itching sensation is ripping through my wrists. Fuck, I hate him for doing this to me. I hate myself for overreacting to everything. I hate myself for not being able to settle down properly and find happiness with Dallon.

Do you love him? I hear Audrey's voice in my head hiss.

"O-Of course not, babe, I love you, I always will."

Good. Don't you dare disrespect me like that again.

"I'm sorry, Audrey, I'm so sorry." I choke through sobs, disappearing into a side alley and stumbling against the wall. I feel the harsh brick scrape at my fingers and I fall forward onto my knees. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of hearing her voice in my head.

"Let me go, Audrey." I whisper, curling up into a ball. "Get out of my head. Leave me alone."

I lay for a while, shivering out of cold and fear. Stop thinking about Dallon, stop thinking about Audrey, just think about yourself for a minute. Who do you really love?

I love Dallon.

I love Dallon.

Dallon is everything I could possibly ask for in one person. He's kind, gentle, caring. Dallon loves me. I like the way he runs his fingers through his hair when he's nervous. I like the way his hands hold mine. They're much bigger, but not in a scary way, in a "I'm going to hold you and keep you safe" way. That's what I love about him. He tells me I'm beautiful every day. He tells me I'll be safe, as long as I have him. He tells me he loves me, and he means it.

Fuck, I love him so much.

I overreacted. He meant it in a nice enough way. I should go back, and apologise. I nod to no one but myself, finally stopping crying with shaky breaths.

Suddenly, the alley gets a little darker as a figure looms over me. I assume it's someone who's come looking for me, like a crew member or something. I sit up and nod at them.

"Did Dallon send you?" I ask, rubbing my eyes.

"Sort of." The person replies. I look up at a familiar voice and see the ruddy faced reporter from a few weeks ago. I'm surprised, and scared. The last time I saw him Zack was pushing him across the parking lot and away from me. Now I don't have any protection. I slip my hand into my pocket and close my fingers around my phone. He smiles warmly at me and offers a hand. I don't take it.

"What are you doing here?" I ask nervously.

"I was just walking by and it looked like you wanted a hand," he says with a shrug, stuffing it back into his pocket. "Y'know, your security guard friend wasn't very nice to me. Where is he now?" The man asks casually.

"I don't know." I say with a shrug, getting to my feet. I don't like the way he's peering at me with these little beady eyes.

"That's a real shame, isn't it?" He sighs. I watch him rummage in his pocket for something. I don't want to know.

"I really should be getting back—" I say, and go to make a run for it when he grabs hold of my wrist. It reminds me of Audrey and I start shaking. I try and pull away, using my other hand to try and untangle his fingers, when he grabs that one too. He holds onto my wrists too tightly with one hand. His grip is too strong. I start pulling manically, screaming.

I watch as he finds what's in his pocket and pulls out a large syringe. My eyes widen in fear. He raises it to my neck. I twist me head away from him, kicking and screaming, but he uses such skill in avoiding me.

There's a searing pain in my neck as he pushes the needle into my skin. I howl in pain. He lets me go suddenly and I fall backwards. I'm too weak to pull myself up. I try and shout for help but my words come out slurred and muddled, I can't make sense of them. My vision is blurred as I watch his face come very close to mine.

"No one will ever believe you. That was from Audrey." He hisses, before kicking me hard in the stomach and vanishing.

I will myself to pass out but I feel unable. I fumble for my phone and attempt to use it, but I can barely stab out a number. It falls from my hands, eventually, and I listen to the screen crack. I can't make... sense... of my... thoughts...

He must work... for Audrey?

B-But she's in prison. Isn't she?

I need to get back to Dallon.

Am I still dating Dallon?

No, I'm dating Audrey?

Dallon?

I need to get back... to Pete...

Wait, no...

I think... I think...

I vomit hard onto the concrete, my whole body racked with pain. Useless words tumble from my mouth that slur into nothing and fail to make sense. Everything's muffled. Am I dying?

Suddenly, I hear a voice.

"Brendon?"

It's Dallon! I turn and make grabby hands in the direction of his voice.

"Brendon, what are you doing out here? Audrey's been looking for you." He says, rushing forward and crouching in front of me. I peer at him nervously.

"No, she can't be," I slur, grinning at him. "I'm dating you."

Dallon laughs nervously and is about to reply when Audrey lurches towards me.

"Babe! I was so worried!"

"N-No, I'm dating Dallon!" I cry, flailing my arms to get away from her.

"Dallon? The fuck?" Audrey says with a light chuckle.

"I'll leave you two alone then," Dallon sighs, straightening up and walking away. I try and go after him but slip up in my own sick.

"N-No, Dallon! I love you!" I stammer, but he's gone. I turn to Audrey who's staring at me with a cold gaze.

"The fuck is this?" She growls. I open my mouth to explain but she interrupts me.

"No, take off your belt."

She leans towards me and I scream for Dallon, trying to shove her away. My hands fall right through her chest and she fades away.

I shudder and collapse. It was a hallucination.

Too full of drugs to cry, I allow my eyes to slip shut.