Fulfilling A Dream

Chapter 4

They had just finished there pancakes and Sarah was running a bowl of hot water to wash the dishes in. She was thankful Lily hadn't said anything about the kiss to her yet. She knew it was going to have to happen sooner or later but she wanted to deal with her feelings first, before talking about them to Lily. She needed to decide whether she was just going to come out a tell her that she loved her and had done for about 2 years now and had just kept it a secret. Or whether to just play it off as nothing and had been aiming her cheek really. The idea of telling Lily the truth terrified her, it could mean losing her best friend, but it could also, possibly mean having Lily as her girlfriend forever more and that made her what to do it.

Sarah had finally become settled in her life, being single but having her 2 best friends. She was ready to start a family and now she'd gone and kissed Lily on the lips and all these feelings were racing round here body. She just needed time away from Lily for a couple of days to get her head straight.

Unknown to Sarah, sitting at the bar counter at the other side of the kitchen, still finishing her pancakes was Lily, having the exact same worries as her. However Lily was more ready to take the risk, she had been hoping for this day for a year now, ever since Sarah and Cherry separated. She just had a sense of hope about the whole thing. She just hoped Sarah would be up for the conversation.

Taking a deeper breath to summon up enough courage to start the conversation "Sarah, I think we should talk about the kiss" she blurted out quickly in one breath. "If we don't it's just going to be hanging over us and make things awkward between us and ........... I can't deal with losing you" she trailed off at the end not wanting to scare Sarah or herself for that matter.

Sarah just stared into the sink, she knew they had to but she wasn't ready yet. She understood where Lily was coming from she didn't want this to destroy them but having this conversation and the truth coming out could destroy them too. Everything was such a mess and it was all her fault, if you had just been more carful and thought about what she was doing they wouldn't be in this mess. "I do want to talk about it but I need a day or so just to think" as she said the words Lily last statement filtered through to her brain and she very quietly said "I don't want to lose you either". She was pretty sure it was too quiet and Lily hadn't heard it.

" I'll go and get dressed and leave you to think" Lily said sadly. "Just please don't let this be the thing to break us, we've both come through so much together. I'll let myself out." Walking away upstairs to get changed.

With the wind came the rain also. Since it had been so nice yesterday Lily hadn't bothered to bring a jacket. She hoped Sarah wouldn't mind if she borrowed her hoody to keep her dry. She called bye to Sarah on the way out " See you tomorrow and don't think it over to hard. Go with your gut". She knew Sarah would over think it and analyse it to death, that was one of the things she both loved and hated about her.

She sprinted to the car in the pouring rain. It was funny how the weather reflected her mood so perfectly at this moment she thought to herself.

Sarah breathed a sigh of relief that Lily had gone. Now she hoped she could deal with all the emotions that were swimming round her head.

Lily's lips had been so soft and perfect. They had a slight fruity taste to them from her lip balm she always used. Thinking back to the moment Sarah was sure for that milli second before she froze having realized what she had done Lily had responded to her kiss. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but the more Sarah thought about it the more plausible it seemed. It had been her to move back, not Lily. And although she had looked a little stunned to begin with she soon smiled and joked about it afterwards, so she clearly wasn't too horrified by the idea of being kissed by Sarah. If only the stakes weren't so high this decision would have been so much easier. She would just ask Lily to be her girlfriend, she knew she loved her more than she had anyone else she had ever gone out with, she was the one.

Lily finally arrived home, there had been traffic everywhere since it was raining and a Monday morning. She ran into the house. Got into pajamas and got straight into bed. Thankfully she still had a couple more days off. She was pretty sure Sarah was working this afternoon for a few hours but was off tomorrow, so they would be able to talk then.

Lily had put Sarah's hoody on the radiator to dry off after her quick sprint in the rain. She was going to put it in the washer but it still smelt of Sarah and she needed that comfort right now. She hated this was happening between her and Sarah, she was her go to for this kind thing and she couldn't because it involved her. She wanted a hug, to be told it would be fine and would work itself out. She really hoped so.

Thinking about the kiss she realised just how much she liked it. They kissed all the time, but on the cheek, this was on the lips and had felt different, more domestic and loving. Lily realised that's what she wanted, she and Sarah to be together and to have that kiss every morning, and be that domestic, familiar all the time. She loved Sarah so much, she couldn't lose her, she needed to show her this and persuade Sarah it was worth the risk, Sarah was the one for her.