Fulfilling A Dream

Chapter 9

They had been sitting cuddled up on the swing bench together. Sarah leaning back into Lily and Maizie curled up on her lap, resting her head on Sarah's chest listening to her steady heart beat as she read. They were reading Paddington Bear stories. Sarah caught sight of her watch seeing it was 10:25, she just tried to ignore it and carry on reading wishing that if she just ignored it it would all go away and she could keep Maizie and her and Lily could adopt her together. They hadn't told Maizie yet, they thought it would be best to wait for Bill to arrive so she didn't think it through too much and get upset.

The door bell rang. Why when you didn't want time to go fast it seemed to move at lightning speed. Lily got up to answer it knowing it was probably Bill. Sarah carried on reading to Maizie to distract herself more than anything else.

"Hi Bill, we were in the back garden reading" Lily said inviting him in.

"How was she? She didn't do very well in the group home."

"She woke up a few times crying for her Mummy, but it's understandable. We were able to sooth her back to sleep pretty easily though. Sarah's a natural with her" Lily said, Bill smiled at her. "We haven't told her you're coming, we thought that she might get upset if she had time to think about it"

"Good idea, if you have her stuff I'll put it in the car then come and get her"

Lily went and got the case for him and then went to get Sarah and Maizie whilst he put it in the car.

"It's time Sarah" she said rubbing her back as an attempt to sooth her. Sarah stood up and carried Maizie to the front door to meet Bill.

"Hi Bill" said Maizie shyly, hiding into Sarah's neck.

"Maizie we've found you a forever family. You can come and meet them now. They're a lovely family, the live in the countryside and have horses. They have ponies too which they'll let you ride, I think you'll really like it" he said reaching out his arms to Maizie. "Come on, lets go and see the ponies shall we?" Maizie wrapped her little arms around Sarah's neck and held on as tightly as she could.

"No Sarah, she's mine" Maizie said defiantly whilst snuggling closer to Sarah.

"It will be lots of fun Maizie, I'm sure you'll love it and Bill has my number if you need me" she said looking at Bill, he frowned at Sarah slightly. It didn't really work like that, once a child moved on they tended to break contact with the old family so they would settled better. Sarah didn't care, if it helped Maizie she would do anything, even if it did go against protocol. She handed Maizie over to Bill, she fort slightly but went to him eventually. Bill thought it best to get her in the car straight away so she didn't get anymore upset. Sarah and Lily just stood and watched in dismay from the front door. The little girl who had stolen there hearts within a matter of hours was gone.

Sarah closed the door and fell into Lily's arms and started to cry. She had fallen in love with Maizie and now that was it, she was gone, she had a real family now. She and Lily were just a stepping stone to get there. She probably wouldn't even remember them when she was older, but she would never forget Maizie. Sarah wished she had been approved to adopt sooner, but no. Now she wasn't sure she wanted to anymore, she couldn't go through that heart break again of seeing a child be moved on from her. What happens if the child she adopted there biological family wanted them back, she just couldn't face it.

Lily stood there and just held Sarah, she felt the same way but she needed to be strong for Sarah. That little girl had made such a huge impact on her and she had only know here for 24 hours. If she was that protective and connected to a child that quickly what would she be like when she and Sarah adopted a child permanently. Having Maizie confirmed to her she wanted children. She wanted to have them with Sarah, she had such a soft gentle maternal side that Lily had never really seen before and she loved it.

"Hey, look at me" Lily said pulling away from Sarah slightly so she could see her face. It was all red and blotchy from crying and she looked so sad and broken. "We'll get through this, I know you fell in love with her, so did I but together we can move on. We'll take it one day at a time. But I'm not going anywhere" Sarah was lost for words, she had found the most amazing girlfriend, all she could do was show her how much she loved her. She kissed her, it was gentle and loving to start with but began to get more passionate. Sarah tangled her fingers through Lily's hair, drawing her closer to her. There lips crashing together.

"I love you" she said.

"I love you too" Lily said breaking the kiss "but we're both emotional right now and I don't want you to regret anything later so I think we should stop this whilst I can still control myself" Sarah huffed but understood.

"Can we just go and lie in bed, I just want to be held right now" Sarah said quietly feeling self conscious at being this vulnerable.

"Of cause baby." They walked upstairs to Sarah's bedroom, Lily lay on the bed first opening her arms to Sarah. She got on the bed and asnuggled into Lily's side, laying her head on her chest.

"I wish we could have kept her Lily" Sarah sighed.

"I know, me too. Maybe it was meant to happen this way, then we get some time to just be us and find ourselves as a couple" This made Sarah smile, she had Lily and she had to remind herself how important that was and not to get too caught up in her own emotions.

"How are you doing with all this?" Sarah asked looking up at Lily.

"Fine, I'll get there" she smiled down at her but Sarah could see tears in her eyes. She knew Lily was just trying to be strong for her.

"It's ok for you to cry Lily, I wont break, you don't need to be strong for the both of us. I'm tougher than I look" she said kissing Lily and snuggling back into her side, just listening to the stillness of the room. It was quite without Maizie, too quiet.