The Family Diner

3~The Harem

you asked for this

Chapter Three: The Harem

Toby Kirkland

My plan is perfect. If it works (which it will!!!!1!2!), I'll finally have what I've always dreamed of. Well, other than actually being recognized for my graphic designer skills. That will never happen.

"Hey, Sakura, will you please get me something to eat?" I ask her sweetly.

"How are you going to pay for it?" she fires back skeptically.

I glance around the diner furtively before ducking down and pulling out a few reddish bills. My companion's eyes go wide.

"If you pay for the meal using your own money, I'll give you these. Do not show your mother. Got it?" I press them into her hand.

She gets up and walks off, muttering, "I would've just paid for it if you'd asked nicely."

"What!? Come back! No, please! That's the last of my stash!"

She disappears into the kitchen. Now I have no more maple weed and there are a lot of eyes turned towards me.

"The last of what?" Michelle demands from across the diner. Smol Feli is standing next to her, whispering to Madeline.

"Nothing, my dear Michelle!" I call out between gritted teeth. God, she annoys me. Not as much as Madeline, though.

"He said stash," Madeline interjects smugly. "He was hoarding maple weed, I bet."

"Shut the heck your mouth!" I yell at the two of them. "That's not what I was talking about."

"Kids, kids, kids," Alfred interrupts from his counter. "You are straying from God's light. Please, hug each other nicely and make up."

"You're too old to have any good advice, Alfred," Michelle argues.

"Now, see here!" the delightful owner starts.

What have I started?

I grin to myself and hunker down to my laptop screen. A shitstorm, that's what. And while they're distracted, I can start designing my newest idea. Which ties in with my foolproof plan, by the way.

I go to my folder of profiles. Ive managed to get a high-quality picture of every regular that comes here. Without consent, but I'm sure they don't mind much.

I quickly select the photos of myself, Sakura, and Azura. They're quickly positioned, and all that's left is a background and some text. I am the best editor on this earth.

Meanwhile, everyone is now all-out screaming at each other, and I think someone threw a chair at Alfred. I ignore them all. Fucking amateurs.

"I... am from New... Zealand," I mutter almost silently, tapping out the words on my screen. Also on the canvas are nice things like "kinks ;)" and "meaty sak ;)" and "azura succ ;)".

Five minutes later, a true masterpiece emerges.

~~~~

Sakura

The kitchen is a chaotic hell-world, as usual. How does Kiku do it?

Well, it's not exactly his fault. It's just that he tends to neglect anyone else inside, no matter their mental state. Nope, the only thing that matters to Kiku is making the food.

Currently, he's chopping vegetables and throwing them violently into a huge pot.

And Natalia is sprawled on the floor, sobbing her heart out and surrounded by two smashed watermelons and a long sword. A silver coloured platter is on top of her, like the ultimate crappy blanket.