My Depressive Mind

The Rise and Fall

I lay in bed, the rise and fall of my chest the only movement detectable in the darkness of my fortress. I wait. For what I am not sure. The end maybe...love...I don't know. The rise and fall continues. It's so quiet. So peaceful. If only it could stay like this. Motionless but for that rise and fall. No sounds other than my breath, and at times my gasping cries as the pain of reality sets in once again. Still, the rise and fall continues. I turn in my bed, my blades are there. Right in front of my eyes. My very tired eyes. They can help me. I pick one up, put it to my wrist. Soon. My chest rises, then falls, that frustration of the simple movement pushes me to act. I shove the blade deep into my wrist, dragging it down as the rise and fall continues. That cursed movement of a body desperately trying to save itself. The blood starts oozing and dripping down my arm. The rise and fall falters...then continues. When will this end? Minutes pass and I start seeing the black relief pressing in on the edges of my vision. The rise and fall slows. Time seems to crawl, I can feel that I am almost gone. I should say goodbye...I rip a page from a notebook and with shaking hands and a clear mind write my last word, Goodbye. I place the paper beside me on my bed. My dark fortress has become my grave. I watch as my chest rises...then falls...rises...my eyes slip shut...and finally for the last time, it falls. Goodbye.