Dear John

PROLOGUE

Dear John,

You left...

You left without even saying goodbye. Do you have any idea how painful that was? I felt like I died.

Until now it feels like I am dying over and over again every single time that I breathe.

I know that nothing lasts forever. Alam ko hindi ko hawak ang future nating dalawa. Pero bakit hindi pa din ako naging handa? Bakit sobrang sakit pa din nung nawala ka?

Sleep became my best friend, but it wasn't that easy. It took me a while to be able to sleep peacefully.

Don't laugh but believe it or not, I tried painkillers—paracetamol, ibuprofen. I know, I know it's stupid. But it hurts and I didn't know where it was exactly hurting but all I know was that it hurts so much, I'm gonna die.

Siguro kaya tayo nasasaktan kapag iniiwanan tayo kahit na may dahilan, kasi kahit anong rason, hindi yun magiging enough para matanggap natin na wala na, tapos na, hindi na pwede.

People might say I'm being overdramatic but there will never be enough reason to erase the pain after you left someone to save them from getting hurt. Kahit anong sabihin mo, makakasakit at makakasakit ka and that is the reality.

Akala kasi nila once na hindi mo na mahal, at nakikipaghiwalay ka na, tapos na. Tapos na yung responsibility mo dun sa tao.

How can people be so cruel? After everything they've been through, basta tapos na, tapos na? Can't you stay for a while and make us feel better before you leave? Kami na nga iniwan eh, diba?

Pero iba ka eh, you're really different, John.

Because you didn't just left...

You didn't even gave me a reason. Even just one damn reason. You just disappeared like a bubble. So how do you expect me to live when you took my heart with you and just left my body here?