The Freak

Chapter 15: Worked Up

Chapter 15:

Worked Up

'Kamira! Slow down.. Breathe. Where are you now?' The voice on the other end sounds worried. I have been rambling for the past few minutes and I take a deep breath.
'I...I don't know...' A tear rolls down my cheeck.
'Kammie, concentrate. Do you see any streetnames?'
I look around. 'No..'
'Are you sure?' He asks.
'I..'
No, I'm not. I can't see anything but Nadine's still body.
'Kamira.' He says strongly. 'Do you see anything that can tell you where you are? Focus!'
I squeeze my eyes shut and open them a while later. I look around and slowly I start to notice things. 'Yes! Bandylane.' I say when I see the small sign.
'Okay, do know how to walk home? Concentrate, Kamira.'
I think and nod. 'Yes.'
'Alright, go home. Change out of your workclothes and call me again, okay? Try to keep calm.'
I sigh 'okay'
'Call me whenever you feel like you're going to lose it.' He warns.
I nod. 'I will.'
'Alright, we'll talk in a bit.' He says relieved.
I smile. 'See you.'

The walk home is quiet. I focus on every detail, every bird that hops past me, every streetname, every person that greets me.
When I reach the house I quickly change into something more comfortable and when my phone buzzes, the text message reads:

Rico:
Can't talk rn, I have company.
Keep yourself together 'till I can reach you ok? And stay inside.
Love you, don't give up on me.

A sad smile spreads across my face. He thinks I'm having suicide thoughts again. I can't blame him ofcourse, considering my past encounters with this.

I don't think I'm that far gone this time.
But still need to talk to you about this, it's urgent. And I miss you. Please call when you can.

I send the message and drop my phone on the table. I don't feel like staying inside and cry over my misery, so I walk out the door. It's getting late and colder but it's still a surprising warm evening for the end of October so I am not cold at all in my sleeveless shirt.
I walk on the road for a while, I don't know how long, but when I let myself sit down under a big tree, there is only a little light left from the setting sun. I shudder a little when a cold, soft breeze tickles my bare shoulders.
I sigh and look down onto my lap. My mind is completely blank, not allowing me to think about anything.

I hear cars running past me, people walking by. I hear shouting. And more shouting, but I don't look up.
I am surprised when someone gives me a push.
'Kamira?! Helloo! You there?'
Someone shouts in my ear and I cringe at the sound of it. I turn my head and I see Tae.
'Woah, finally. Are you deaf or just ignoring me?'
I shake my head. 'Neither, sorry.'
'I was jogging down the street when I saw you here, what's up? Why are you sitting next to a tree by the road?' She asks.
'I was just resting for a minute.'
She raises an eyebrow. 'Alright then.' And she sits down too.
'You seem upset though.'
I shake my head 'Just tired.'
She nods. 'Okay, well, did your phone die?'
I shake my head. 'Why?'
'Because we were going to talk about your new boyfriend, remember?' She laughs. 'Not answering my calls, huh? Sneaky bastard.' She gives me a playful tick on my shoulder.
'Oh, I'm sorry. I left it at home.' I sigh. I probably have about ten missed calls from Rico.
'Ofcourse you did.' She says.
I raise my eyebrows.
'Just kidding!' She quickly says. 'But now for real, what's the matter?'
I shake my head. 'I'm fine, really.'
'Your new boyfriend doesn't seem to think so.'
'What?' I ask surprised.
'You are very distracted, aren't you?' Tae chuckles.
'Why? What happened?' I ask.
'Eh, you stood him up.' She states.
The date, oh my God. I bury my face in my hands. 'Crap. I totally forgot about that date...' I sigh. 'Oh, and he is not my boyfriend.' I quickly add.
Tae sighs. 'What am I going to do with you, honey. When a hot guy asks you out, don't say yes and then ditch him. That hurts their image.' She chuckles. 'And that, can not happen, can it?' She says, her voice sounding a little bitter.
I study her face 'Sorry... Do you have a lot of experience with that?' I ask.