It's not love if it doesn't destroy you

Chapter one

Dereks pov:

What was I thinking I couldn't move on with another woman I have everything I have ever wanted with Meredith how could I do this to her. I quietly snuck out of the bed where Renee was sleeping, I quickly rushed to get dressed and go to the airport, once I was on my flight to Seattle I realized I forgot my phone and my keys. When I walked up to the front door I saw that the lights were on , I was hoping that I would be able to talk to the love of my life. I quietly knocked on the door and she answered, she looked beautiful but also tired and stressed out , that's what me being in DC has done to her, I have to tell her everything I owe her that much. I tried talking to her but she just walked away and went to bed, I could sense that she knew what I was going to say. In the morning I told her the whole story except the part where I cheated on her, I just wanted to forget that regretful moment but I knew that Meredith wasn't buying the story , finally I come to the terms that I was going to tell her what really happened but her pager went off. Meredith left for the hospital and I cherished the time spent with our children, I can't believe I thought DC was everything how could I be so blind.

Merediths pov:

When I saw Derek at the door all I could assume was that he cheated on me I was certain, from the woman answering his phone to him showing up in the middle of the night. I have missed him so much but for all I know what he is about to tell me could change our lives forever. Gladly we didn't say a word and just went to sleep that night but in the morning that's when everything changed. He told me the whole story about what happened but I knew he was lying ,my gut told me that he was lying. It would be a lot easier if he just told me the truth but now there's no time as I have to go to the hospital to fix someone else's life when mine is in shambles. So I tell Derek to spend the day with the kids considering they haven't seen their father in a while.

Later that night:

I walked into the door and I knew what was coming next, Derek told me everything, but I don't know if I can forgive him for having sex with another woman, how could he be so stupid and reckless. Am I just not young and hot enough for him now, what about the kids did he think about what he was sacrificing when he was being unfaithful with another woman. I knew that this was coming but it felt like the man I love is no where to be found. He chose DC and that woman over his family I don't know if I will ever be able to forgive him even if it kills me inside to be mad at the love of my life. What came to mind is was when I warned him to never cheat on me and he promised but what should I expect this wasn't the only promise he has broken. I just don't know how we can move on from this.

Derek's pov:

I told her everything and I saw her face it was a mixture of anger and sadness. How could I do this to her and our family I can't live without Meredith she is everything. So I called post it ,

D:I'm calling post-it, Zola, Bailey , tumors on the wall and ferry boat scrub caps I thought DC was everything and I was wrong. You are my everything, I love you and I'm not going to stop loving you. Meredith I can't live without you and I'm going to do everything in my power to prove it. I'm so sorry for cheating on you it was the worst thing I have ever done to you and this family

Merediths pov:

How can I just forgive him, even with his big speech I'm still tremendously mad and I need time to think about what I really want.

M: Derek I can't believe you did this idiotic thing how could you sleep with another woman, what was going through your head. You know for a Neurosurgeon you are really brainless, for now I think it would be best for you to find another place to sleep for a few nights I need time to think

D: please Meredith I'm begging you to forgive me I'm so sorry

M: I need time Derek so get out of the house I can't talk to you at this moment I really don't want to say something that I will regret

D: okay I will wait until you are ready, I will get my phone mailed to me but in the mean time I have my presidential phone that you will be able to contact me with. I love you Meredith and I will do anything to save our family and this marriage

Dereks pov:

I couldn't expect her to forgive me in such little time, I can't believe I slept with a woman who wasn't Meredith. Meredith is everything she is the love of my life I may have just ruined everything. Now I need a place to go, I guess I could go to the hospital and crash there hopefully no one will see me and start asking questions.

At the hospital:

The hallways are empty so the coast is clear, I went into the on call room and than realized that I had woken up Amy.

Amy pov:

I wake up to find my only brother at the door of the room, the first thing that comes to mind is the question of why he's here , did something happen to Meredith or the kids?

A: why are you here did something happen to Meredith or the kids?

D: no they are fine I just came here to crash

A: oh what did you do?

D:you don't want to know

A: Derek tell me, did you resign from the brain initiative? Did u finally realize that your beautiful family is more important than the presidents job for you ?

D: I really messed up, I cheated on Meredith , I think my marriage is over I'm so stupid.

A: how could you do that to her,Derek you have a family why would you give up all of that for a one night stand, wait do you love her or something? You would think that after everything you have been though you wouldn't be so stupid and sleep with another woman considering you know how it felt  to be cheated on first hand and  look at where you and Addie ended up.

D: like I said I really fucked up, I love Meredith so much and I was just feeling lonely and then she kissed me and It escalated from there.... That's why I rushed home because I love my family and I need to get them back no matter what

A: Derek you really messed up, I don't know if you will be able to get yourself out of this mess you have dug yourself into a very deep hole.

D: in the morning after a good nights rest I will have a plan to get Meredith back

A:good luck Derek too bad you couldn't  have realized this before making a rash decision and sleeping with another woman

Merediths pov:

I'm laying in bed all alone again when I could be in the arms of my husband but then again he cheated on me so I can't just go crawling back into his arms, why did he cheat on me how could he cheat on me so easily. He's done this before... meet someone have a one night stand and fall in love with them, case in point that was me but is he trying to do that again with another woman. There are so many questions going through my head right now, I'm just going to get a good nights sleep and go from there.

Let me know what you think and if I should continue this