It's not love if it doesn't destroy you

What If Part 2

What if pt 2
Merediths pov
The last few months have been bad , Derek and I tried therapy and like our friends who tried it, we had the same result. Nothing worked. Derek was constantly apologizing and begging for us to stay together but I didn't see us ending up together again that love we shared was gone. He destroyed our marriage and there was no repairing it. I was some what dark and twisty again I mostly just worked or took care of the kids. When I didn't have the kids I would go home to an empty house and pull out the tequila bottle to numb the pain. As much as I want to act like I don't miss Derek it's just not the truth. I know I can move on and live life without him but I miss my husband the husband who didn't cheat on me. I don't see that type of love coming around again. It was around 8 pm I had just gotten home, I didn't have the kids so it was time to pull out the bottle. "Meredith pull it together no more sulking over a man who cheated on you it's time to move on with your life". After giving myself a pep talk I called my lawyer and asked her to prepare some divorce papers so that I can give them to Derek, she says that they will be ready by tomorrow.

The next morning
I have the divorce papers in hand and I'm heading to the hospital now. I page Derek to the on call room so that I can give them to him in private

D: hey I dropped the kids off at daycare, I'm glad you paged so that we can talk and figure out how to fix things

M: Derek stop, we are going around in the same circle its time to stop there is no fixing us we are done, I'm done.

D: what are you saying Meredith , you are the love of my life the mother of my children. There's still other things we can try

M: no Derek no more

I then handed him the divorce papers, he realized what they were and immediately broke down and started crying, and so did I.

D: Meredith please, please don't do this please I'm begging you. You are everything, you are like coming up for fresh air, you gave me a family you are my true love, please don't do this

M: Derek I love you I really do but I can't forgive you. You are the father of my children but that's it just sign the papers please

For minutes we just stood there crying and looking into each others eyes. I decide to give him one last goodbye kiss and hug just to close off a great thing that we had. I moved forward and planted my lips on, we shared a very passionate kiss it turned into somewhat of a make out. I broke the kiss and held him in a tight hug. It was obvious that we both loved each other with all out hearts but love just isn't enough this time. I step back and take one final look at him

M: please Derek just sign the papers, so that we can try to move on with our lives and accomplish greatness. Derek we are done , there is nothing left to save

D: please

I decided that it was best for me to leave there was nothing left to say. I thought we would stay together till the day we died, he was it he was mine but nothing good happens to me so why should I be so surprised

A few months later
Derek's pov:
These past few months have been terrible, I reluctantly signed the divorce papers because I finally realized that Meredith made up her mind and was done with our relationship. I don't know how to live without her she's my everything, I not only lost my wife but my family got torn up in the process. The divorce was going smoothly until the kids came up , I decided that I should go back to DC and continue working on my project, I still want to cure Alzheimer's for Meredith but this time I want to bring the kids with me considering they are the only thing left that I have to remind me of Meredith well other then the dream house since that's what I got in the divorce. I was hoping that Meredith and I could work something out but like I expected she wants the kids full time as well so that's why right now we are in court fighting over the custody of our kids. Everything seems to be falling apart the testimonies all seem to be helping Meredith , almost everyone took her side I'm so screwed and at this point there's nothing I can do except sit back and watch my life disintegrate before my eyes

Merediths pov:
Sitting in court fighting over our kids, this was never how things were supposed to turn out. Thankfully things seem to be going my way especially when Callie testified and brought up that it takes a village and that the village is here in Seattle and not in DC. Finally it was decision time, the judge just came back out and has a decision

J: I hear by grant sole physical custody of Zola, Bailey and Ellis Grey-Shepherd to Meredith Grey

Everyone gets up and cheers and congratulates me, don't get me wrong I'm so thankful that the kids get to stay with me but when I look over and see Derek all alone crying it just reminds me how I failed the kids and how they will have to grow up in a broken home like I did. Before I could do anything else the judge hits down the mallet to conclude this case which causes a Big Bang

*Bang*

I jolt up and I realize that I'm in my bed and that it must have been a dream, it felt so real though and I'm crying and sweating. After a few minutes I realize that Derek is beside me calling my name which startled me

D: Meredith wake up, Meredith it's just a dream , Meredith

M: huh um what um happened

D: I could hear u crying and at one point I heard you scream I just had to make sure that you were alright

M: I had a dream, it felt so real, it was um terrible

I choked out words while crying , why was I crying, it was just a dream

D: what happened in your dream

Derek was kneeling in front of me holding my hand trying to comfort me

M: so much happened and it um felt so real it was terrible , you came home and told me that you cheated on me then we fought a lot and we ended up getting a divorce and then we went to court to fight over the kids, it was just so terrible we were both so broken in the dream, it just felt so real

D: Meredith I'm right here I'm not going anywhere, I know I hurt you , but we are staying together for us and the kids. We are going to make it through this together. I love you so much

The dream felt so real, I knew right there and then that I never wanted to feel that way again. It was time to turn over a new leaf and move on. It was time to forgive, forget and reconcile with the man I love.

~ sorry for taking so long to update, in all honesty I forgot about this fanfiction. I have been really busy with soccer and school along with other things. Let me know what you think :) - Vanessa