"Zander, you haven't said one word during dinner. Is something wrong? Is the surrogacy plan not working?" My mom questioned as I helped wash some dishes. Early this morning I gave Bria and Linzi a heads up that I was going to my parents for the day. They don't know about Linzi being pregnant yet.
"Everything's fine, Mom." I said.
"Then why do you seem so distraught?"
"I'm not 'distraught.'" I placed the dish down on the counter and walked out the patio doors. I took a seat on a nearby chair and stared blankly at the backyard. I don't think this whole 'me being a father' thing is going to work. I thought I was ready when Bria first told me, but now I don't know why I can't grasp onto the idea?
"Zander?" I heard.
I looked up and saw my mom standing there in the doorway, eyebrows raised. I know that look. The look when she's going to give you a talk about something.
"Something is bothering you. I'm your mother and I know when something isn't right with my children. Now tell me what's been going on?" She asked taking a seat next to me.
"Linzi's pregnant."
"So it worked! You and Bria must be extremely happy."
"They are."
"Are you saying you're not happy?"
I sighed and looked at my mom. "I'm very happy that this happened. Bria wanted this more than anything and I wanted to give it to her."
"Then why are you so upset about it?"
"Its not that I'm upset, its just I don't think I can do this. Whether it was Linzi or Bria carrying the baby, I'm going to be responsible for another life! What if I screw up and the kid ends up hating me?"
My mom laughed and placed her hand on my shoulder. "This reminds me of Bria's father. When Corbin found out he was going to be a father he freaked out, ran off. He thought he was going to be a screw up, but once he saw that little girl, every fear he had vanished."
"Mom, I wouldn't run away from fatherhood?"
"No, I'm not saying you would, but once you look into that baby's eyes and that baby looks back at you-"
"-Every fear vanishes."
"Exactly! I know you can do this and if you ever need advice you know your dad and I are always here to help. Its normal to feel nervous about having your first baby, Zander. I know I was, but trust me it gets better."
