I was sitting on the bedroom floor, knees to my chest and my chin on too of them. I stared blankly at the wall and wondered what the hell just happened? My fucking fiancée just left me and it's all my fault! If I wouldn't have been such an idiot to keep annoying Bria with eloping this fight would've never happened.
I looked down at the floor, picking up her engagement ring and studied it hardly. Man, I hope this wasn't a big waste on this little piece of jewelry. I paid a pretty penny to afford this ring and worked a lot of hours at the record shop. I am so stupid! I slipped the ring into my pocket and got up, walking out of the room.
I then walked into the kitchen, pulling out a glass from the cabinet, turned on the sink faucet and filled up the glass with water. I put the glass to my lips and took two sips of it. I threw the glass in the sink causing it to shatter and break into smaller pieces. I picked up a small piece of glass and studied it. Am I really going to start this again? Now when my life has gotten ten times better?
I flipped my arm over and looked at the scars I had given myself in the past. Small, big, long and short. There had to be at least twenty of them. Do I want to add twenty more? I placed the shard of glass to my arm and dragged it across my skin, gasping as I felt my skin be torn open. Bright red blood ran down my arm and dripped into the sink, leaving drops on some plates left in from the other night.
What I just did was completely wrong and I know I just let down so many people. Bria, my parents, Andy, and especially Madison! What kind of father figure am I for my daughter or for my unborn child? What father sits there and gives in and cuts himself? A wimp! And that's exactly what I am! A wimp!
I looked down at my arm and saw that the cut was still bleeding, so I ran upstairs into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet. I pulled out the first aid kit Bria had purchased and took out a roll of gauze and tape. I wrapped my arm up, tearing the gauze from the roll and placed a piece of tape over it.
I walked out of the bathroom, going into the bedroom and laid across the bed. I took Bria's pillow from her side of the bed and held it close to me, inhaling her scent. I rested my chin on the pillow, closing my eyes. Why do I have to be such a total fuck up? And why should I always drag Bria into it? If Bria leaves me I won't blame her.
