Roll With It

10. All Our Bruised Bodies

I'm sitting on a chair in my backyard, slowly smoking a cigarette. My shaky hands struggle to flick the ashes away without dropping the whole thing. I am not usually a smoker, but this is my second cigarette of the night. My head is throbbing. My front tooth is chipped and my lip is split. I'm exhausted, yet so relieved. It's 9:30 PM, I'm bloody and I feel calmer than I have in months. The sun is gone. I'm usually filled with a deep sense of sorrow and melancholy around this time. I'm still depressed, yes, but in this particular moment, I'm free. Just as I was beginning to lose hope, it came to me in the form of three words, you were right. I was so scared. I was beginning to just exist on the sidelines of my best friend's life. Now, he's hurting. He's weak and beaten down, yet he can overcome. He's been at his all time low for so long and he believed that he didn't need me. I think he knows better now.

It began with a phone call at 5:00. I was alone at home, sitting around. The night was going to be boring, lonely and uneventful. I had a beer already, and was prepared to move onto heavier drinking within the hour. Rae called me, interrupting the cycle of destruction that was about to unfold. "Finn," she began. "Archie's in hospital." Her voice was clear and sobering. I sat up in my seat right away. Immediately, I knew it had something to do with Jacob. "What's happening?" I asked, hoping it was something else. "That fuck, that - that--" Rae fumbled over her words. "Rae! Just.. out with it. I can take it." I told her. Truth be told, I'd never be ready to hear about Archie hurting, but I had to know.

"They had to wire his jaw shut." She told me. My stomach dropped. "What did he do to him?" I asked, with a heavy heart. Rae exhales, as if to calm herself down. "I don't know. He's telling everyone he was hit by a car. It doesn't look good." She said. "Wait, you're there? What's going on?" I asked. "He... He asked me to take him here. He wouldn't say why on the phone. He's not telling the truth, and these doctors are believing it. He expects me to go with it, too. Finn... He could barely walk. It took ages just to get him to a standing position and to the car. It's bad this time. Really bad. I just... I don't know what to do. Please come. We need to do something." Rae told me, sounding tired, scared and desperate. I left immediately. My fingers gripped the wheel tightly as I drove in silence. When I got to the room, I felt faint. It was straight out of a horror film.

Archie's right eye was swollen almost completely shut. The lids were a deep purple colour. His unaffected eye was droopy too, but in a different way. It wasn't bruised, but it was semi-closed, probably due to exhaustion. He looked so weak and tired. His left arm was bruised and scraped, and he had his right arm wrapped in gauze. I took a seat next to Rae. "Finn.." Archie began. His voice was quiet. "Archie.." I said. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry." I told him. Tears were forming in my eyes. He didn't get a chance to respond before we were interrupted when Jacob entered the room. I expected a whole façade that might've included him going up to Archie and making a whole big deal of how pained he was to see his boyfriend hurt. Typical bullshit. More lies, like the ones he told about his Dad being sick. Instead of rushing to Archie's side, Jacob came straight time.

"The fuck are you doing here?" He asked. I stood up, holding my hands up, as if to say, "Hold up, let's not do this right now." He got into my bubble and pushed me against the wall. "Get the fuck out of here. Get out!" He yelled. Rae got up and backed away, standing near Archie. "Jacob, don't do this right now." I told him. I didn't want to fight. Archie was lying on the bed, half dead. He didn't need to see us fighting. "Or what?" Jacob asked me. "Or what?" He repeated louder, pushing me again. I was so shocked, I couldn't say anything. Rae chimed in. "Jacob, stop! Stop doing this!" She yelled. He ignored her and kept coming at me. "I don't want any problems..." I started. He responded by punching me in the mouth. I tasted tooth dust and blood on my tongue. The blow from one punch left me lightheaded.

"Hey!" A nurse called into the room. She was older and clearly angry. "I'm afraid you'll have to be leaving now, sir." I began to move toward the door when she motioned for me to stop. "You." She said, pointing to Jacob. In a huff, he backed off and ran out, muttering profanities under his breath. The nurse was quick to follow, calling after him, yelling for someone to catch him.