Masterpieces {Book 2}

What the hell would i be without you?

Credit; lukeinallhisglory

Summary:

The one where Luke is scared, and even though Calum is probably just as scared, he's willing to pretend to be brave.

i feel like i haven't posted in ages, haYlo.

Enjoy (:

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For me growing up had meant confusion. Dizzying confusion, and irreconcilable heartache. Music was a channel for pent up frustration; sexual frustration, frustration with the world, school, family. It was my escape.

And then Calum. When we first met it was just a childish crush. I wasn't out and I didn't want anyone to know. At the time, I couldn't imagine ever being out. I didn't even really consider it.

But we grew up, and we somehow lucked out and went on tour. And somewhere between the tours and the music, and all of the attention, Calum came out. And that's when everything became even more tangled.

The night that he came out to the three of us there was a knock on my hotel room door. I answered it to find Calum standing there looking sleep ruffled, tired and prepared to say something. "Can I?" He asked, pointing past me, and I moved out of his way so he could come in.

"Why are you awake?" I asked him, following him to the sofa in the corner of the room and sitting down beside him.

"I can't sleep," he looked over at me, taking a deep, shaky breath in and out.

"Why not?"

"I can't shut my brain off." He was watching his own hands very closely.

"So why are you here?" I mumbled.

"Lukey?" He looked over at me now, his eyes smoldering

"Yeah?"

"I'm not imagining it, am I?"

"Imagining what, Cal?"

"I think I'm in love with you, and I think you're in love with me, too. I can't be imaging that, can I?"

I was silent for a moment completely frozen. "No," I choked out quietly.

He took a shaky double breath, like the first attempt to take in air had failed. "Ok." He lunged forward and caught my lips with his, trembling hands reaching up to cup my cheek. I kissed him back desperately, and then pushed him away.

"I-I'm sorry. I can't." I stood up, moving away from him.

"Luke, please," Calum begged. "Don't shut down on me. Just, please, stay."

Tears streamed down my face. "I can't," I shook my head. "I can't."

He stood up and followed me over to the bed, reaching out to touch me as I flinched away. "I need you, Lukey. I need someone who will love me and protect me. I need you."

"I'm not that guy, Cal. I can't be that guy."

"I love you!"

"I can't!"

"I'm so scared, Lukey."

"I'm sorry, Cal. I'm really sorry, but I'm not ready to do this."

"When will you be ready? Name a time, and I'll wait. I'll wait for you."

"I don't know."

"I'll wait as long as it takes," he shrugged.

"Calum, I can't ask you to do that."