What's The Worst That I Could Say?

Chapter 14- I'm sorry

Helena's POV-

It has been two hours since our argument, and I was currently taking a walk in the park. It was twilight, and I just needed some New Jersey air to calm me down. He'd left, to my relief, when I'd told him to go. I hadn't heard from him since, which I was also relieved of. 

I mean, why did I honestly come back here? I mean, sure, it was a great idea to rekindle my relationship with mom, but Gerard? He was hardly gonna forgive me after what I did, was he? I should'nt have enrolled in Belleville High, I shouldn't have greeted Mikey, I should've just come here for a small holiday- to just speak with mom and apologize. I should be on a flight back to Wisconsin like, tomorrow or something, telling mom I'd be back to visit soon. I mean, she herself barely trusts me after what happened. She always tries to put off her night shifts, but I refuse and make her leave. She calls every few hours though, claiming that she wanted to check if I was okay or needed her. A.K.A- wanting to know if I was actually alive or not. I-

"S, Sooo heeere's yooourr hollidaaaaay! I hooopee yooou enjoooy this timeee, yoou gaave it aall awaaay!" A familiar, slurred voice sang opposite me. I turned my head to see a guy slumped on the bench, a bottle in his hands as he sang the Blink-182 song. My eyes widened when I saw who it was.

"Gerard?" I came closer to him. His head snapped up, and a happy, slight demented look flashed across his face from under neath his curtain of ebony hair.

"Hells!" He quickly stood, stumbling forwards. I caught him luckily, and steadied him and brushed him off as he grinned at me. "I've been waiting for you to come, baby! I knew you would..." He slurred. I was about to ask him what he'd been drinking, when he suddenly placed a sloppy, wet kiss on my mouth. I awkwardly pulled away, and wiped my lips.

"Gee, you're really, really drunk. What've you been drinking?"

He chuckled. "Silly, Helena. Beer, obviously...and I'm not that drunk, I'm fine!"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, of course you're not drunk, because I'm not having to hold you up, right?" I shook my head with despair. I tried to pry the beer bottle from his hand, but he suddenly wrapped the arm with the beer bottle around my waist and brought me closer to him. I wrinkled my nose slightly as he breathed down onto my face, pushing back the hair that hung over my face with a sweaty hand.

"Y, You're so hot, you know that?" He smirked. "I've always liked you..." I was about to cut him off, but he slammed his mouth onto my own. I pushed him away gently though, not liking the bitter taste of beer that lingered on his lips. 

"C'mon, lets get you home..." I sighed, wrapping my arm around his waist and beginning to drag him down the sidewalk. Luckily, our houses weren't very far from here, to my relief. I then remembered the half full beer bottle in his hand, and ripped it out of his grasp before chucking it into the trash can. 

"My beer!" He wailed. 

"Tough shit, Gerard. What the hell do you think Donna and Donald will say?"

He laughed. "They're either asleep or watching the television so loud they can't hear if I'm home or not."

I sighed. "And Mikey?"

"What about him?"

"Don't you think he's gonna be pissed off?"

Gerard giggled. "He's either playing his bass or doing homework..."

I rolled my eyes as I lead him down our street, deciding whether or not I should let him stumble into his house or just let him come into mine. I sighed, deciding I'd make sure he'd sober up before facing his parents. I led him down the front yard of my house, and fumbled through my jacket pocket until I found my key. Gerard giggled at me.

"Why are we at your house?" He asked, as I shoved my key through the keyhole and unlocked the door. I dragged him through into my warm hall and slammed the door shut behind me, replying.

"So you can sober up. Do you feel sick?"

He shook his head. "Horny."

"Wonderful." I grumbled. "Do you think you can make it upstairs? Or do you want to lie on the couch?"

"I can make it," He slurred, pushing away from me and beginning to climb up the stairs as if they were a mountain. He made it halfway before he flopped down, giving up. "There are so many!" He wailed. I groaned, making my way up after him and dragging him up by the arm.

"You're fucked." I sighed, managing to get him to the top of the steps. I towed him into my bedroom and shoved him onto the bed. "Look, lie down, okay? I'm just gonna get you a bucket and a glass of water in case." I explained, heading out the room and downstairs.

When I came back up with the bucket and water, I almost crapped my pants. I stood there in the doorway, staring at Gerard's naked form that stood there, waiting. I quickly looked away from him, hastily stepping forwards and placing the bucket onto the floor and the water onto the side.

"You ready, baby?" He grinned. 

"Jesus, Gerard! What the fuck happened to your clothes? Put them back on!"

He sighed and flopped onto my bed to my dismay, and shook his head. "I can't..."

"Oh yes you fucking can!" I snapped. "You managed to tear them off so quickly, so you can put them back on again!" He ignored me though, and just lay there, smiling up at the ceiling. I hated every single second that went by, him lying butt-naked on my covers, sprawled out as if it was his own fucking room. Bastard.

"That's it," I muttered, scooping up his clothes. "You're a fucking dick; lying on my covers naked and shit!" I took his underwear, grimacing at him as I pulled it up over his legs. I avoided staring at his crotch as I pulled the clothing up over it, flushing bright red. I looked up over his chest, gritting my teeth Gerard smirked at me.

"Like what you see?" 

"Shut the fuck up and go to sleep. I'll wake you up in a few hours," I snapped. I pushed his shirt over his head, huffing as he made to effort to help me re-dress him. I was about to pull away to grab his pants, but he took hold of my wrists and kept me there.

"Lay down with me," He pleaded. I shook my head, trying to break from his grasp. I eventually sighed, and sat down beside him, shoving him over onto his side. 

"No, I'll fall asleep. I need to wake you up later so you can go back home,"

Ignoring me, he took hold of my waist and pulled me down further into the bed so I was laying next to him. I grimaced.

"Gerard-"

"I love you, Hells." He cut me off, wrapping his arms around me. "Please don't leave me again." He begged. I watched silently as the tears dripped down his cheeks, and I gently wiped each one away.

"But I hurt everyone, Gee." I whispered. "I've hurt you again..."

"I don't care, I just want you back. You're my best friend, I, I love you."

I smiled sadly. "You're very drunk."

"The truth comes out when you're drunk." And once again, he pressed his lips to my own. It was still sloppy and wet, but not much of a surprise. Tears dripped down my cheeks and I pulled away.

"You don't know what happened-"

"Give me a chance to hear it out," He pleaded.

I shook my head, laughing sadly. "I'll tell you one day, but now you need to sleep."

"I've missed you, and now we're together again..."

"No we're not."

"What do you mean?" He frowned.

"You'll go back to normal tomorrow, ignoring me, hating me,"

"I won't, I promise."

I smiled. "We'll wait and see." And I watched him, as he shut his eyes sleepily and fell asleep. I brushed a strand of hair from his face and kissed his forehead.

"I've missed you too, Gee. I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for trying to kill myself. It's just...he hurt me, he raped me, Gerard. I let it happen, it wasn't your fault...I just wanted to die. I felt so scared, and suddenly so numb..." I whispered into the silence.