Dreams Don't Always Come True [Taylor Swift AU]

{21}

Taylor

"But what if I don't want to give up on you?"

As the words spilled out of his mouth, I could almost feel myself freezing.

What was I supposed to say?

I don't love him. I never had.

He's sweet, nice, caring, funny, but, I don't love him.

Right?

I look down at my feet.

Silence.

"Uh, sorry," he says awkwardly. "I um, probably shouldn't have said that."

I shake my head slowly.

"Taylor..?" He asks.

I continue to stare at my feet.

"Are you okay..?"

I don't move.

I can't move.

It's like my body forgot how to function.

"Taylor! You need to tell me that you're okay!" He says, a little louder.

I try as hard as I can to tell him that no, I'm not fine.

But my mouth doesn't open.

He puts his hand on my shoulder and shakes me.

"Taylor!"

No matter how hard I try, I can't move. I want to stand up and go outside, where I can see the sunshine. I want to go to the studio and sing.

But even though my brain is screaming at my legs to stand up, at my mouth to talk, my body doesn't seem to be listening.

"Taylor..." He starts, quietly. "I'm really sorry. I need to know if you're okay. Please, just a simple "yes" would be enough. Are you okay?"

Even if I could move, I wouldn't have said yes.

Justin stands up from his spot next to me, and unlocks the door, then walks out.

I stay in the same position. Sitting against the bathroom wall, knees against my chest, with my head in my hands, staring at the floor.

I hear frantic talking from down the hall, then three pairs of footsteps stampeding towards me.

"Taylor! What's wrong?" Selena asks, fear evident in her voice.

I stay still.

They don't seem to understand.

I don't understand either.

I've had anxiety since I was little, but I hadn't had an anxiety attack in years.

And I'd never had one this bad in my life.

There wasn't an explanation.

I don't know why Justin's words had triggered me. I'd heard much worse in my life.

I couldn't move, couldn't breathe. My lungs felt like they had been squished.

I started to breathe deeper, suddenly feeling like my body wasn't getting enough oxygen.

I could feel Selena and Violet and Justin shaking me, trying to get a reaction.

But the only thing I could do was breathe, deeper and deeper by the second, until it sounded like I was wheezing.

I could hear them screaming, but I couldn't hear what words they were saying.

I didn't know what to do, and neither did they.

Maybe there was nothing to do.

Maybe I just needed a break.

My eyes were still glued to my shoes, and I noticed the corners of my vision getting darker.

I so badly wanted to stand up and tell them that it's okay, that I'm not fine but I'll be better in a little while.

The black spots in my vision suddenly overcame me, and the last thought that swam through my brain before plummeting into darkness was:

Maybe everything would be better if I never woke up.

And I never did.

/////

How's that for a plot twist :))
but brb crying idek why this chapter turned out so dark, but the story is slowly starting to come to an end. It's not done yet but it's getting closer.

Comment please!!

-Alice