Lost (Mark/Darkiplier X Reader)

Chapter 38

(A/N: On Saturday, I saw Three Days Grace live. They are my favorite band ever. I might of cried when I saw them. Might of. My fangirling was through the roof. The video above is from the concert. It was NOT filmed by me though. I was sitting close to where it was filmed! If I cried seeing a band that I love, I wonder how bad I would cry if I met Mark. These are deep questions. On with the story!)

"Hey baby!" I greeted Mark with a kiss in the front entrance of the hospital. It was morning and it was time to pick up Mark. The doctors said he was perfect during the night. Everything was stable and he is ready to go home. They still couldn't believe how well he revived. I had to leave them in awe, because I couldn't tell them the truth. If I did, I might end up in a mental institution.

After filling out some paperwork, I grabbed Mark's hand and we walked together out of the hospital. "I was so lonely without you." I admitted to him.

Mark gave me a patient smile, "I was lonely too. I had nothing to do. All I wanted was to kiss you can hug you!" Mark placed his hand on my face and landed a quick kiss on my lips. I blushed a little. Why am I blushing? This is nothing new to me.

Mark and I hopped in the car and started to drive back to our house. The empty place that can't be filled with the same ambience that it used to have. Mark is my only hope to bring some of the cheerfulness back into our home. I decided to drive us home because Mark was still tired. He didn't sleep well throughout the night and neither did I. The bed isn't the same when it's so empty.

The car ride was quite awkward considering we had nothing to talk about. Then, things that needed to be said didn't get said because we weren't ready to talk about that stuff yet. I was relieved to finally be home with Mark.

We walked in the home together and I closed the door behind me. Mark was ahead of me and he quickly swung his body around so he faced me. He moved in closer to me so I had my body leaning against the door. His face was inches from mine. Then, he began to kiss me. I took my hands and played with his hair and he moaned a tiny bit. He pulled away from me and whispered in my ear, "I've been waiting a while to kiss you like that. I love you."

"I love you too." With that, I went back to kissing him, and Mark was pleased with my choice. We ended up making out for a little bit, but I refused to take this make out session any further. I couldn't have sex with someone knowing that my friend had just died.

Mark attempted to stick his hand down my pants, but I stopped him immediately. "Sorry," I whispered to him, "I'm not really feeling up to it right now." (A/N: Aww, it reminds me of Napstablook from Undertale. <3 )

"I understand." He pulled his hand away and released me from the door by back his body away from mine.

"On a different note," Mark trailed off his voice for a second, "Since I was able to hear you talking to me in the hospital, I think you said something else important to me."

I scanned my mind trying to think about what I might have said. I was a mess at the time and I don't even remember half of it. "What did I say?" I gave up trying to remember.

"You said that of I were to make it out alive that we could start that non-profit charity together. I really want to make this a reality, but I would need your help." I saw hopefulness flare up in Mark's eyes. He had a true passion for this and that was not hard to tell. He had a bright, burning flame and I don't want to be the one who puts it out.

I exhaled out a happy sigh if that is even possible. "Okay, now I remember. With some hard work and dedication, you and me can make this a reality. It's going to take time though."

"I have the patience!" Mark said and he gave me a hug, slightly lifting me off of the ground. I laughed as he did so and I grabbed on to him using him as backup safety. Even though in all honesty, I trust Mark with my life. No doubt.

"We could go across America cleaning up cities and raising money and make the world a better place!" Mark continued to list off all of the ideas that he had, "We could get fans to volunteer if they live in that area. Then-" He took too long to list everything that I stopped listening to him. "This is going to be great!" Mark set me down. He was acting super ecstatic, which made me happy to see.

It seemed strange to me that Mark was acting so happy, even though his friend had died. Wouldn't the pain eat him up inside like it is slowly doing to me? He had to be upset to some degree, right?

It probably isn't my place to ask him, but I did anyway, "How do you feel about Dark. You just seem so happy even though he is gone."

Mark's happy expression soon faded away and he looked serious with a hint of sadness. "I miss him already. He was a pain in the fucking ass, but he was a part of me. I respect him more as an individual now then I ever had in my entire life. The decision he had to make would be impossible for me to make. If I had to die for Dark, I don't know if I could do it. No matter what people think he is, he has a heart. He cares about people and things. He just needs a push so he can admit it. I believe that you were that push for him. He discovered so many great things through you. Even how to love.

"I know I don't seen super upset over the whole situation and that is mainly because I bottle my feelings. I bury my pains and insecurities deep within me. And I am fully aware that I do this. Sometimes, I bury things too deep and that can't be healthy. I feel like the pain hasn't reached me yet. I'm sure it will soon. The bottle will have to be broke sometime and my feelings will be exposed for the world to see."

Emotions are human.