Right in Front of You

17. Life goes on

Kathy spent an entire week locked up in her room, barely eating anything, trying to dry her eyes permanently. It wasn't such a big deal, she told herself, but it didn't work. Donnie's rage-filled face still popped up in her nightmares. She actually suspected she had a mild form of PTSD.

As much as she tried to purge his memory from her house, it seemed buried inside every piece of furniture, tied to every little gesture. His goodbye was so confusing. Was the Donnie she loved still in there, fighting to come out and get back to her?

Her brain had somehow separated her ex into two separate entities. Jerk druggie Donnie and her best friend and the boy she loved. It didn't help. She spent every waking minute trying to push the two back together into a full, ugly package.

The confusion gave Kathy a headache beyond her injuries. And she seriously wished her parents would stop finding excuses for Donnie and giving her updates on his progress, as if he'd suffered from something that wasn't his entire fault.

It all culminated with Cassandra coming to her room two days after her breakup. Kathy's face was still swollen both from the punch and all the crying, and it made her mom scrunch her nose.

"Honey, we need to talk."

Kathy sat up in bed and scooted over to make room for her mother. Cassandra sat on the edge of the mattress as if she were afraid she'd catch some form of madness from her daughter.

"I waited for you to get a little better before having this talk, but there are things which need to be said." Her mother's voice was weary, exhausted. "I don't like what happened."

"Me neither," Kathy said. Her voice was so croaky, she could barely recognize it.

"I think this family has suffered enough. We need... I need peace of mind. I lost a child and I'm not about to lose my second one."

Kathy's eyes filled with tears again. "You're not going to lose me, Mom."

"I surely hope not. What you did, how you threatened us..."

Kathy blinked. "What?"

"I know this is hard, that this isn't ideal, but Donnie is Donnie. We've all known him since he was a baby. He's going through a rough time and you need to stand by him."

"Stand by him? Mom, he hit me! He's been abusive to me--" She halted when Cassandra raised her hand.

"He made a bad choice. But he's sorry."

"How do you even know that?" Her voice came out high and desperate.

"He apologized to us thoroughly. I know he also apologized to you."

"That doesn't make what he did okay!"

Did it? Was she being unreasonable? The look on her mother's face said that much. But she couldn't even think about speaking to Donnie, letting him touch him again.

"You are not perfect either," Cassandra said. "You failed to notice there was something wrong which I find very disappointing. I-- You've both made mistakes. So I think it's your duty, as his girlfriend, to be by his side through this."

"I broke up with him, Mom. That's why he hit me. Right after he embarrassed me in front of the whole school."

"Did you have anything to be embarrassed about?" Cassandra was merciles and Kathy's chest felt as if it was being squeezed by a giant vice. "Because I didn't raise you to have a reputation."

Kathy had nothing to say to that. She wasn't sure she could even speak without bursting into tears. All she knew was that her mother was tearing her apart, placing the blame on her shoulders. But was she right? Was Kathy the bad guy?