Beside You (Ashton Irwin)

Chapter 7

Darlene's P.O.V

  I don't think I can handle all these people and cameras. The attention is just something that I do not want. I get out of the car and slam the door and run into the house not even looking at any of the reporters or answering there questions. 

"I heard you tried suicide will you try again now that your dad is here?"

"Do you love your dad?"

"Are you happy to be able to see daddy again?"

I ran upstairs and into my room and slammed the door and looked though my desk and found a pencil sharpener and I smashed it on to the desk so it would break. Once it did I grabed the blade and went across the old scars that I had from last week and these cuts where not deep they went so I could feel the pain. I wiped the blood off the desk and walked to the washroom to shower. Sometimes I just wish a shower could wash away all the pain, but the pain will never ever stop.  If my dad was alive why didn't he ever just come home to his family that needs him. I needed him but he was never there. He made me think that he was dead! And I was only 10 and a 10 year old girl needs her father. And my mother needed help to raise me. I spent the last 8 years alone. 

I turned the faucet to the hot side and waited for the tub to fill. I want to relaxed and a shower won't help but a nice bath has always helped me feel at lease a little better. But nothing can make this pain stop. I feel as if someone stabbed me in the stomach. As i watched the water fall down i undress. I stop the water and step inside the tub I flinch because the water is a bit too hot but it relaxes me. I lay back and close my eyes and lay back to think about all the painful memories that I have had.

 ~ Flash back ~

"I'll be right back. I'm going to go to the office and grab something. You and mum go back to sleep." Daddy said and I listened and l laid back down in my warm fuzzy bed. I had a unsafe feeling that he might not come back but I just want to cut off those feelings and just know he will come home soon. I curl up in two a ball and close my eyes and fall asleep. 

I woke up to the cold breeze of wind that was coming from down stairs. The police men and my mum where at the door. She looked as if she had been crying for hours and got no sleep. I still have no idea what is happeniing right now. But I want it to be over. I want to make some hot coco and enjoy my morning. 

"I'm sorry but I think your husband is gone." The police man said I felt the warm tears stream down my face and I ran in to my room and slammed the door. I knew I should have told him to stay, to stay home and not leave. That unsafe feeling that I felt was real. All I could do is cry and my heart was broken I am broken. 

"Darlene! Open the door. we have to talk." My mum said

"NO! Leave me alone." I yelled and continued to cry even more. I always wished to only have one parent but when it really happens you will wish you never did. I want my dad back but he will never come back. He is dead. He will never come back. He left. 

~ Flash back over ~

I opened my eyes and  dyed them from the tears that I had. I stood up and wrapped the towel around my body. I opened the door and the cold air hit my body with a rush. As I got in to my room I closed the door and pulled out grey sweat pants and a grey tank top with a blue and red flannel.  I laid down on my bed and looked up at the white walls that where drained of its life.

I was always the girl who loved every thing and and loved everyone. The girl who was every ones friend. The girl who had friends. The happy joyful girl. But that girl is gone. If I tried to go back I can't because  if something is broke, there is no use in trying to fix it. And if you do fix it there will always be cracks. And those cracks can't be filled in. Never. I just want to go back, go back to the days where it was all happy and I was happy. But we can't go back to the past.