Beside You (Ashton Irwin)

Chapter One

Where am I? I think I'm dead. But the beeping. I looked of over to see the life support. I guess the jokes on me. I want to be dead I'm not suppose to be here. I should be dead. I should be in hell! I don't want to be living. I don't want to see people.

"Darlene, your wake! Are you okay?" My mum came rushing in to the room. She never really cared about me. I guess it's her way of saying to people she's a 'good' mother. But in all reality she's not. She just here because her reputation. And everyone knows that can't be ruined. I mean being the most popular mother in town is so important to her. After my father died my mum wanted to be the best person that she can be. But I know that she's a cold women that just cares about her self and money. Honestly she's one of the reasons I hate my self. I have to be perfect and I have to be good enough for her. But I never am so why try?

"Leave." I say so she can here. I don't want to see any one and I don't want to be here I just want to die. And I thought I did. But no I'm here in this world where people judge people and hate people. Where you are judged by every little thing you do. Where every one is against each other. And people are scared of there own kind. It's sad but the truth. I guess I will never feel safe not even in my own house. I almost live alone because my mum and out with a new guy each night. People say a death of a person can change you. But I have never experienced it but it sure as hell changed my mum. I don't know what it is that changes you but it's something big.

All I can do is stair at the white walls and think. About why I'm here. And not in hell. Knowing that I have to go back to school is the worse part. Having to see all the people who want you dead there. Just to laugh at you because you failed. But if any of them felt they way I feel they would understand. But no. I'm alone. Maybe if I was gone they would care. They would feel bad because they where the ones that made me do it. But they are just to stuck up to care. I guess the world is like that. Sad and selfish. This is my senior year in high school. It's suppose to be the best year in school. But no it get's worse every year. I don't see why they can't leave me alone I don't even do anything to be called a bitch or slut. If any thing that's them. Or her. Her name is Charlotte Anderson. She has dated almost every guy in school and is currently with Ashton Irwin. Ashton, well I don't know much about him but every girl wants to get in his pants. And he's the player boy of the school. Him and Charlotte are the popular ones. But he never has and never will talk to me. And Charlotte just hates me. And it's not right in my eyes.

"Miss.Ford you have a guest." The nurse came in my room I looked away from who ever it could be. But who would even want to see me. I know I can end this any time I want. But there is something holding me back from pulling the life support off. In that minute I could be gone. But I can't find the strength to pull it. I turned my head to see Charlotte and Ashton. But what in world could she do to me now, I'm in the hospital. All did was mess with is fingers not even daring to look at me not even a little.

"You know you should be dead." Charlotte laughed. I felt the tears brimming from my eyes and I felt a shiver come from up my spine. But she's right I should be dead. It would have saved her the trip her. And maybe she would go to my funeral to laughed at me. Because she has won.

"I should be." I said and the tears came rushing down. At this point I can't stop them. I'm to sad to care and she is to cold to care. I don't know why she is in here. Why did she come to bring me down again well it worked. I hope she's happy. But seeing me hurt is happiness to her. All Ashton did was look to the ground. I mean I wouldn't even want to see myself if I was in his shoes.

"Ashton? Do you having thing to say to this piece of trash." Charlotte trying to hurt me. But all can do is look I can't move and I can't yell and I can't stop what ever this is. I can't help that my not worth brething air I'm sorry that I can't be the girl that every one wants to see! And the fact is that I don't like that girl. I don't want to be that girl. I don't want to be like Charlotte. I want to be me but I can't be me.

"Sorry." Ashton said but not loud more of a whisper. Maybe not wanting to be yelled at by Charlotte. I bet he is every day. I don't know why he puts up with her crap. All she does is nag and complain. He can do a lot better than her. His a good person. But being with Charlotte just makes him cool. And popular. He has never made me feel bad in any way.

"Why the fuck are you saying sorry to this girl? She donesn't need your sorry! She needs to die!" Charlotte made him flinch. He looked scared I could tell he wanted to be some where eles. I mean if I was him I would leave her. Everyone knows they are not in love but they still want them to stay together.

"Why the hell aren't you? Why aren't you saying sorry? She is here because of you! You did this!" Ashton yelled I wanted him to say more but the nurse came in and told them to leave. Before the left Ashton turned around and gave me a sympathetic look. Well that's the first. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up. Oh yeah I tried. I just want to be home and not in the cold hospital. I never liked them. All I can do now is sleep. I closed my eyes and fell in to a deep sleep.

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I got straight up. This isn't home. Or the hospital. Where the fuck are i? Why me? Why do I always have too me the one with pain. Why can't I ever be left alone. Everything is so dark. I can't move. I can't see. Maybe my eye's are closed, no. I can hear the muffling of voices in the background. I am scared. I can't do any thing I can't even yell. I'm traped. I think I always have been.

"You are alone."

"You always will be."

"No one wants you."

"Ew bitch."

"Stay away."

"Go die."

"Try to kill you self again."

"NO ONE CARE FOR YOU. ASHTON YEAH HIM HE IS FAKING."

"He will never care for a girl like you."

"DIE."

"DIE."

"DIE."

"Bye."

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I woke up in tears. I can't do this. I want to die. People will never care even when I think they will. No body wants me. I'm not loved. They are right. Why do I even try. I just fail. All I have now is me. But I think I lost that to.

A/N what do ya'll think? Haha Omg so I like this boy and I think he likes me! Ahh this is a new feeling. Any ways people vote comment and follow!! Love you all!