The Real Me [H.S]

45.

I LOVE THAT SONG THATS WHY ITS AT THE TOP YOU CAN LISTEN TO IT WHILE READING IF YOU LIKE:)

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MIA

I didn't know where I was going when I left Harry and Amelia. All I know is that I stopped when I felt the wind hit my face. I stood outside and noticed how quiet it was. The paparazzi had left for now, I knew they would be back when the party ended. Standing here made me realise how much I was struggling to breathe in there with everyone around. The cold wind brushed past me and made me wrap my arms around myself. My hair blow around my face but I didn't care, as I looked out into the night.

I know I shouldn't feel so hurt or sad but I do. Amelia knew what would happen if she brought up my secret, she and everyone else had seen it in the news and magazines. She knew exactly what she was doing. She didn't know I had gotten over that part but still, she knew. It hurt to watch Harry do nothing. He glared at her but she didn't see him do that and I'm sure when I left they had a right old giggle about it. I thought maybe he would say something, anything. Tell her off, tell her to stop. Do something. Something like he would've done three years ago. But then maybe that's me asking for too much because he doesn't have to say anything. We're not together anymore. Amelia is his and he is hers. His not mine anymore. Its been three years and I still think his going to come back. I still look at my phone thinking a message or call with come through with his name on it. I still believe that maybe there is some hope for us. That maybe he hasn't moved on completely. Even Andy and Kim have been putting hope into my head and I wish they hadn't. I was doing that enough myself, I didn't need people to do that for me too. I just had so much hope in me, that it's all just be shattered. His happy and moved on. I'm happy for him yes but it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. It hurts like a bitch but I'll get over it right? I'll move on.

"There you are!" I heard Andy's voice from behind me.

"Here I am" I stated.

I looked at him as he stood next to me and he sighed.

"Why are you out here?"

"Enjoying the cold wind" I joked, giving him a small smile but he wouldn't take it.

"No seriously"

"Amelia said something that got on my nerves." I sighed.

"Amelia? As in Harry's Amelia?"

"Yes Harry's Amelia" I rolled my eyes.

"Sorry. I meant, you spoke to her?"

"Yea right after I spoke to Harry" After them words came out of my mouth Andy gasped. "Yes I spoke to Harry but it wasn't much and nothing to tell" I stated.

"Its just I didn't think you had spoken yet. I mean he asked me where you had gone but I thought it was because he wanted to talk now, not that he had already spoken to you" Andy said and it was my turn to be shocked.

"He asked where I was?"

Andy went to open his mouth to speak but the words that I head didn't come from his mouth.

"Yea I did"

We both turned round and there in all his glory, stood the boy I fell in love with.

"I'll leave you too alone" Andy said squeezing my hand as he noticed me and Harry staring at each other.

"I'm sorry for what Amelia said it wasn't right" Was the first thing that Harry said as he walked towards me.

"Its fine, I've gone through worse" I try to joke but he doesn't laugh with me. "Why is no one finding me funny tonight?" I chuckled and he smiled a little.

"Maybe because you're not" He smirked as he now stood in front of me.

"Rude" I mutter and he chuckled.

"Can I ask you a question that's been bothering me for a while now, well three years to be exact" Harry says and I know straight away where this conversation is going.

"Might as well get it over with."

"I want you to know I understand why you became two people. I watched your interviews and I understand it completely but I want to know why you didn't trust me enough to just tell me?" He asked and the look on his face pained me. He generally look hurt by me not trusting him, I mean who wouldn't be right?

"To be honest with you, it was because I didn't want you to get hurt. I know tat sounds stupid but if you think about it I was protecting you as much as I was protecting my family from the media."

"I don't understand" Harry said confused.

"Just think. You would know Mia and Lucy and you would know we were the same person. However you could only be with one of them. If you were out with Mia you would have to act like friends and with Lucy you could act normal and like we were going out. You couldn't act the same with both of us. People would start to realise and you would get so much hate for cheating ether though you know you're not. Its complicated, that's why I didn't want to tell. I only wanted to tell you if I was going to tell the world. I was protecting you!" I explained and he nodded.

"I understand but I could've handle the media and the hate"

"But you couldn't Harry!" I said frustrated, running my hands through my hair. "No one wants to be called a cheater on a daily basis. Especially when its not true but you couldn't tell anyone that. You would soon have enough of it all and we would break up. Right now it probably wouldn't have mattered what way we did this because they both ended the same way." I sighed and looked down.

"Thank you for protecting me." He said putting his fingers under my chin, so I would look at him.

We stared at each other for so long. His eyes looked right into my soul, like they use too. They had so much happiness and love in them, I didn't know if that was for me or not. I just knew I loved the twinkle that still shone in his eyes when he looked at me. Soon enough we both started to lean in as his hands cupped my face, mine finding there way to his waist, pulling him closer to me. Our lips were an inch away, hovering over each others. They stayed there for a second as we continued to stare at each other. Not soon after though they connected and we kissed for the first time in three years. IT felt right. The love was still there. The butterflies re-appeared in my stomach and I couldn't help but smile through the kiss, Harry doing the same. We broke away after a minute but stayed in the position we were in. Standing inches away from each other, with Harry's hands on my face still.

"Harry" I said breathless.

"Mia.."

"I need to ask you something and you need to be honest with me" I said and Harry nodded.

"What is it?"

"When you look at me do you see the girl you loved or the girl you left?"

I stared into his eyes with wide eyes. I needed to know the answer. I needed to know where we stood right now. Even if Amelia is in the picture.

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AHHHHHHHH.......................CLIFFHANGER

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PROBABLY HATE ME FOR THAT BUT I LIKE THE SUSPENSE:)))

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