Out of the Darkness (Luke Hemmings/ Ashton Irwin Fanfic)

Chapter 4

The tears made their way over my cheeks. Why was I so messed up? What did I do in life to become so helpless?

"Moni, open up the door! Please let me in. I don't know what I would do, if you hurt yourself because of me." I heard Luke say outside the door. He sounded sorry. Like he never meant any of what he said.

"Why should I believe you?! You... you hurt me before. I hurt myself before."

"I want to help you Moni. You are still my best friend. That one person who helped me through every fight, every break-up, every death. Please." His voice softened as he spoke.

I slowly got up. I knew it was wrong to let him in. I knew, that if I would let him back into my life, he was going to hurt me even more. But right now, I needed someone to stroke my hair, while I was crying in their shoulder. Like I used to, when we were friends.

I unlocked the door and sat next to the door, waiting for him to come in, telling me how worthless I was. He would always hurt me and I knew it.

The next thing I noticed were strong arms around me, hugging me thightly.

"I'm so, so sorry for everything I've ever said. I never wanted to hurt you in any way. You aren't worthless or ugly or the other stupid things I'd called you. You never were. You are the most beautiful girl I know. And the funniest. And I can understand, if you don't want to talk to me anymore, but I'll try anything to get you back as my friend. I'm sorry, that I didn't talk to you for a whole year. I'm sorry, I chose the band over yourself. If I could go back in time, I would. I wouldn't have accepted that damn contract, wouldn't have gone on tour. I would've stayed right here with you. Hepling you through those difficult times. I woud've asked you out and we would be happy by now." He said to me, his voice cracking at the end.

"Moni, you don't know how much you mean to me. You are perfect and I don't deserve to be friends with someone as wonderful as you are."

I listened to him, crying into his shirt. "I-It's not all you f-fault." I tried to make him feel a bit better at least.

"No it is. It is my fault." He took my hands in his bigger ones and rolled my sleeves up. His face fell, when he saw all those scares on my arm and wrists. Tears blurring my vision, I looked down to my hands as well. I was pretty messed up.

"Each one of those scares. You hurt youself, cause I wasn't there. I wasn't there to help you. I-I wasn't there when you needed me the most." Tears streaming down his face too. He looked to vulnerable at that very moment. Like the smallest thing could cause him to fall apart.

"If I'd known what you've been trough, I would've never..." He started, but I stopped him.

"It's okay Luke. You kept me from tearing apart this time and I'm sure you'll do that again. Maybe the" I took a deap breath "selfharm won't happen again." I tried to smile a bit.

He hugged my so tight, I couldn't breath properly. "Luke...No...air...need...to..breath!" I choked out.

"Sorry!" He smiled sad, but cheekily at me. "Let's wash our faces. You don't look as beautiful as you usually do."

Still the good old charming Luke. I knew I would regret it, but I just couldn't resist him.

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After getting a bit into shape again, we went back to the kitchen, where everyone was waiting for us, looking like they had big news.

Niall was still gazing at Ashton hatefully, but I actually didn't care about it at all. I had to ask him afterwards.

I smiled at everyone brightly. "What happened in here? And where are my pancakes?!"

I knew, that there was still a pancake lying on my plate before I excused myself to the bathroom.

"Well, the boys ate it, but I'm making new one at the moment." Julie shouted from behind the stove.

"Good. So you look like you have news. What's up?" I asked.

You could nearly cut the intensity in this room. Luke was eying his bandmates curious.

Juls walked in, with a new plate filled with those delicious pancakes of hers.

I grapped one and began to eat immediatly.

"Remember how I told you I had to sing a lullaby for all of you, that Harry recorded it and sent to Simon Cowell?" I nodded.

"Well, turns out, he likes her voice so much, that he wants her to be the opening act on the Take Me Home tour. And he wants her to sign a contract at his record lable." Liam finished off.

Do you know that american movies, where the people spit everything in their mouth out, when they here some big news? Well, that was me at that moment, thankfully, I was drinking water at that moment.

"God, Juls, that's great" I screamed, embracing her in a hug.

"You know I'll also need someone to keep me company. I won't stand being around boys all day long."  She smiled brightly and turned to face all the boys. "As much as I like you, you only like me cause of my amazing cooking skills."

"Not true. We like you as well, but you food is just heavenly." Niall answered her, the rest of the lads nodding in agreement.

"I'll take that as a compliment. So Moni, would you like to go on tour with me and those weirdos over there?" She pointed over to the nine people sitting at my little dinning table.

"I would love to. About university, we both might have to take online classes."  I replied, thinking about my architecture and her journalism studies.

"I don't mind. Oh my god! We're going on tour with One Direction and 5 Seconds of Summer!"

"I think we should celebrate this! Where's the Tequilla?" Louis screamed in the backround.

"No! No alcohol. We have to get home and get our things packed, as you might remember Mr. Tomlinson we are leaving in three days for the first TMH concert. And you said you need new clothes. Niall needs new supras, Harrys beanie is also fucked up and Zayn is probably going to buy a new mirror, like always. Up now all of you. Let's get going!" Liam said calmly.

"Yes Daddy Direction!" The lads answered unisono.

They said goodbye to everyone and left. Harry kissed my cheek and said "See you soon, beautiful!" before he left.

A few minutes later, also the boys of 5sos decided to go home and start packing.

Before Luke went out the door he said "Harry is a flirt, you know? You could do a lot better."

I smiled at him, aswering "I don't even want a relationship right now, so that isn't my biggest problem. Bye Luke. See yah soon."

He also kissed my cheek before he left. What was wrong with guys always kissing my cheek?

Juls and I plopped down on the couch.

"You are a lot at my flat lately you know that?" I asked her, thinking now was the perfect time for my plan.

"Well, then I should get going," she aswered, but not getting of the sofa.

"That's not what I meant. You know I have a spare room. What about you would move in? I feel so lonely here." I turned to face her.

"I would love too. But how about we get this done after tour?"

"Fine, roommate." I smiled, loving how that sounded.

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AN: I litterly cried during the first part of this chapter. It's so damn sad. :((

And I'm sorry for the ending, I don't like it that much either, but what can you do about it? ;)

Lots of Love

Juls