Since the last time I saw my dad we have been in contact a handful of times. We have had numerous fights over text and I've gone off on him an excessive amount. I've been so angry with him and blamed him for everything. It took me a long time to realize that learning forgiveness is such a huge part of being a Christian.
I spent a long time being very depressed and blaming myself for my father leaving. I told myself that if I had been a better daughter it wouldn't have happened. It took quite a while to realize that there was nothing I could've done to make him stay. Finding happiness felt nearly impossible, but after finding things to be thankful and looking at everything with a thankful heart, things got just a little bit easier. If I hadn't found hope in God I wouldn't have been able to find happiness and strength.
I still haven't fully forgiven him, but I'm working on it and by the grace of God I'm trusting more and more in my Heavenly Father like I never could trust in my earthly father. Knowing that there is a God that loves me more than my father ever could and is for me, and wants the best for me is the biggest comforter I could ever ask for. Not being able to talk to my earthly father daily is always hard, but knowing that I can talk to my Heavenly Father 24/7 makes things a lot easier, and knowing that He understands absolutely everything makes it even better.
God is everything I never had in a father and no amount of thanks will ever be enough. That's the beauty of God though, there's no amount of thanks that any of us will ever have that will be enough. None of us deserve the grace that He's given us but He continually forgives us any way if we simply ask for forgiveness.
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Haylstorm
EspiritualA testimony of what happens when life kicks you when you're down, causes you to lose things you didn't even know you had, and gives you no choice but to turn to God.
