The Ten Things I Love About You

The Beginning...

1. The way your hair cascades down your back 

My cheeks were stained with tears as I walked into a random salon, and straight to the chair. I somehow managed to hiccup out a few coherent words, and soon my hair was falling to the floor. My caramel colored curls that once went down to my waistline, were now laying just above my shoulders. I wasn't stopping there. I hiccuped out a few more words, and not even an hour later, I became a blonde. I paid the little old lady at the desk, and walked out. 

After a long walk to our...my apartment, I collapsed onto the couch, and into a puddle of tears. I scrolled through the endless pictures of us that I hadn't been able to delete, and a sense of nostalgia washed over me before I began to cry again. This had become my new routine. No matter what I tried I couldn't seem to get over Matt. One day he just decided to pack up, and leave me behind. How do you get over someone who you gave your everything to? I gave up my teenage years for him, my friends, my virginity, my life, my everything. He told me we were forever, but little did I know forever to him was only five years.

That damn list. It seemed to be taunting me, watching my every move. He made it for me on our three year anniversary. As much as I wanted to,  I couldn't seem to throw it out. If I threw that list out, I was ending everything with him for good, and I couldn't seem to come to terms with that. He may have left me, but I still hoped he would come back, and realize what a mistake he made for leaving. I couldn't look at it anymore. I got up, and started to walk over to our...my bedroom. I stopped in front of the mirror in the hallway, and just stared at my reflection. I looked like a disaster. Mascara running down my face, swollen eyes, red runny nose, and my newly short blonde hair already disheveled. After deciding that I couldn't look at myself any longer, I walked into the bedroom, laid on the bed, and cried until there were no tears left. 

At around eleven the next morning there was a knock at my door. I ignored it, and buried myself even farther underneath my blankets. The knocking continued for another ten minutes before it finally came to end. I smiled, and began to drift back to sleep. Before I slipped back into my dreamless sleep my best friend, Aliyah, bursted into my room.

"Riley, did you really think I wouldn't find a way into your room?" Aliyah said to me with a hand on hip. I sat up, and rubbed my eyes before putting my glasses on. After seeing the bobby pin in her hand, I cursed myself for forgetting to take the dish of them out of the hallway.

"I guess I just hoped you would finally after all these years leave me alone." I replied.

"We both know that'll never happen Ri, but more importantly, what the hell did you do to your hair?!" 

I let out a soft laugh before sarcastically replying, "What? You don't love it?" I already knew she would hate it. Aliyah had always been a fan of my natural caramel curls. She laughed for a second before she walked over, and pulled me out of the bed. 

"Ri, you haven't worn anything but sweatpants for the past two weeks. Get on a pair of jeans and brush your hair, we're going out for breakfast." Not having enough energy to fight, I shooed her out of the room, and began to get dressed. After throwing on a pair of ripped light washed jeans and a plain white tee, I walked out of my room to see Aliyah waiting by the door for me. 

After about a five minute walk, we arrived at our favorite breakfast place, Café 41. We quickly got seated, and ordered right away considering we both already knew the menu by heart. 

"Riley, we really need to talk about Matt." My heart dropped. Why did she have to bring it up? "He's not coming back, and you really need to come to terms with that." I ignored her, and continued to sip my coffee. "You've only left the house for work and food, I know your hurting but you have to at least try and get over him." I looked up.

"You don't think I'm trying?! I don't think you realize just how hard it is to wake up every morning without him by my side. To go to work, and help people get ready for their weddings when all I can think about is how that should've been Matt and I. I'm trying as hard as I can." My voice cracked as I squeaked out those last few words. 

"Riley, that's your problem right there, instead of trying to forget about him, you're thinking about him all day, everyday. You need to try and forget about him, he's gone." 

"I know, I know." We didn't speak about it again for the rest of the day, and I was extremely thankful for that. I wish I could say that since we didn't talk about him, I didn't think about him either, but that wasn't the case. Unfortunately, everything I looked at reminded me of him.  After a long day of holding in tears and trying to have a good time, I was at last arriving at my apartment complex. 

"Riley?" I turned around to see my neighbor, Ms. Holman, walking towards me. "I'm sorry to bother you, but I haven't seen Matthew in a while, I wanted to make sure he was okay." My heart dropped. 

With a fake smile plastered on my face, and a shaky voice I replied, "He's fine. He just...um...moved out."

"Oh...I'm so sorry sweetheart I didn't know. If it means anything, I always thought you too good for him."

I mumbled a quick thank you, and quickly ran up the stairs. I got up to my apartment, slammed the door, and broke down in tears. I sat there, crying, for I don't know how long before I found the strength the stand up. As I walked towards the bedroom, I noticed a picture frame face done on the floor. With shaky hands I picked it up, and a sad smile stretched across my face. It was a picture of Matt and I at our first Christmas together. We were smiling and drinking eggnog by the fireplace. That's when we were still happy and in love. I held the frame close to my body, and eventually fell asleep, still holding onto it for dear life.

**

That was my first my chapter!! I know its short but the rest of them from now one should be a lot longer. Thank you to all of you for reading, it means more then you could possibly imagine.