for him [bxb] ✔️

24 // asylum

Without second hesitation I found that time had taken my youth and settled on a once forbidden thought that had been shackled by the overbearing embrace of concerned adults.

Time had taken a grip around my neck and squeezed until the very breaths that I possessed were being shortened by the straggling fingers of a once adored companion.

My own time had been clumsily used up and it was when I found myself awoken in a strange white room with strange white people wearing strange white garments that I realized what the absence of my own second guessing caused.

My pale arms and legs were separately spaced and my rigid face felt on fire under the medicated salve and bandages that coated the entirety of my weakened body.

You have done this to yourself. It's all your fault.

Voices of all tones and pitches were screeching within my head and I knew that what once was could never then be.

I had gone insane with self doubt and hard truth as past memories were shoved and settled inside of me and in the process of attempting to protect both myself and the ones that I could only doubt loving, I had committed an act that would make me an unsuitable person to have such a freedom once promised by them.

The monitor continued with the reminding sounds that my existence was still beating and under the hood of a growing and thriving world. I felt my muscles once strong enough to hold boxes of imported vinyls and the breathtaking existence of a beautiful boy slacken against my sides and my eyes were diverted and redirected to the very scruffy face of my own father.

It had taken me by so much surprise to see such a man I had trusted with my deepest of secrets letting a sedative flow quickly into my skin and wash to my dying soul.

I'm only doing what's best for you, son.