Sidemen Preferences 2.0

Harry - 26, 27 and 28

!!!! Do not read if triggered easily! If you suffer from any of the things mentioned in this imagine know that I am here to talk and be a friend in need; I love you guys a lot. <3

This was requested by cutekitten678 enjoy!

26: He/you deal(s) with self harm, 27: He/you deal(s) with depression and 28: He/you deal(s) with anxiety

Warnings: Mentions of self harm, depression, anxiety, swearing

(Y/N) POV

I sobbed as I heard Harry crying in the bathroom. His depression has been acting up again and the sudden rise in hate comments is not helping. I soon began worrying what he was doing and feared for the outcome; now my anxiety it kicking in. I soon felt my breathing quicken as a panic attack was about to happen. "Harry... Harry!" I shouted trying to get his attention. Harry did not come out the bathroom... he always comes to me when I call him or he knows my anxiety is trying to fuck me up. 

'You're not good for him!'

'He doesn't care about you!'

'He won't come out that door to see to your pathetic self'

I heard those voices in my head... I felt like they were true this time. I began sobbing as I felt worthless. I clutched my shirt as my breathing quickened; no, no, no, NO! I fell back against the wall and slid down as I sobbed more and more. I felt like the word around me began to fade away as all I focused on was the negative thoughts in my head. I screamed clutching my hair trying to block out the thoughts. 

I was been shaken and opened my eyes to meet Harry's. I gasped and hugged him tight crying. Soon enough I had calmed down and pulled back looking at Harry. "What brought this on love?" he asked. "Y-you... I began worrying" I mumbled looking down. That's when I saw it... fresh blood. Harry was in there self harming... just like I thought. "Harry..." I whimpered holding his arm. "I had to numb the pain... numb my depression. God, I hate that fucking word!" Harry grumbled and sobbed. I looked up at him, "You were doing so well, baby" I whispered cupping his face with my free hand. Harry lent onto my hand, "I-I know but... fuck" Harry said with more tears falling. "It's okay babe, I know what you mean" I said and held him tight. "Let's go and get this cleaned up" I said and he nodded. We got up and went into the kitchen to get the first aid kit. 

Harry's POV

I whimpered as (Y/N) disinfected the cuts. Looking at the scars and cuts make me seem weak and pathetic. I hate having them but I'm the one who does it. I feel like I can't stop as it numbs the pain... but it only makes it worse. (Y/N) pecked my lips once she had cleaned and bandaged up my arm. I got up from the sofa and went over to the window. I rested my forehead against it and looked down. I sighed shutting my eyes tight. I then looked at the bandage on my arm then to the scars on my right arm. I stood up straight then stormed off into the bedroom. I began collecting up all the razors I had in there and around the flat. "Harry, what are you doing?" (Y/N) asked before I ran out the flat. I went down to the lift and got in it. It got to the floor then I went outside and threw the razors in the bin outside. I sighed brushing my hair back. I then made my way back upstairs. 

I went into the flat to see (Y/N) getting her shoes on. "What did you do?" she asked dropping her shoe. "Threw my razors away. Depression is not going to win; this battle will never end sure but I want to make sure I am in control" I said. (Y/N) smiled at me and jumped into my arms pressing her lips to mine. "I am so proud of you baby. I will be with you the whole way through" she said looking at me. "Just like I will be with you and your anxiety" I said smiling at her. "I love you" I said. "Love you too" she said.