Warriors: The Cliché Crossover

Chapter 14

Orangefurpaw tensed as he pulled out his favourite thing from the kangaroo pouch on his chest he'd been secretly donning since birth. From Yellowstar's maltreatment probably, no-one quite knew. He smiled as he pulled out his voodoo dolls, their eyes glinting in the sunlight.

He squealed with delight as the first one he laid eyes on was Darkshadow. He galloped down to MoonClan territory, but Silvertongue teleported in front of him.

"Wha-? You've gotta stop doing that," Orangefurpaw grumbled.

"What'cha got there?" Silvertongue asked.

Orangefurpaw grunted. "S'nothing. What have YOU got there?"

"Teleportation skills," he proposed, catching Orangefurpaw's attention.

Orangefurpaw raised an eyebrow-.

[Um, cats don't have eyebrows] Princessheart sauntered towards them, looking flustered.

"Who are you talking to?" asked Silvertongue.

Break the fourth wall and I'll kill you in your sleep murmured an anonymous source.

[Fine, you owe me] "Oh, no-one!"

Orangefurpaw gave her a confused look. "Can you tell me the way to MoonClan territory? I forgot."

Princessheart smirked deviously. "Well, I could, but what would you give me?"

He narrowed his eyes. "An Amethystglimmer voodoo doll."

She squeaked. "Deal!"

Princessheart skipped merrily towards MoonClan territory as Silvertongue and Orangefurpaw followed, but she stopped abruptly.

[glodhart ni trhe huaouse poepla] "anehsthetgliterm si kttign."

Orangefurpaw looked to Silvertongue. "What did he say?"

"Amethystglimmer is kitting."

"How did you get that so quickly?"

Silvertongue shrugged. "Yellowstar taught me."

"You've been hanging out with my Mother?!" he cried.

"Yeah, she has like all the seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, and she's a sadist, just like me!"

Princessheart gasped. "Amethystglimmer's kitting?! We must go to her rescue!"

Orangefurpaw tilted his head. "I thought you hated her."

"I do, I've got an idea. Hurry up."

Pushing past Glodhart, she dashed towards MoonClan camp entrance, waiting for a moment for the two toms to catch up. She grunted.

"Strictmoon's guarding camp, he won't let you in," she muttered.

Orangefurpaw lit up. "STEP ASIDE PEASANT, I'VE GOT THIS."

She gasped. "Did he just call me a peasant?"

Silvertongue shrugged. "Yeah, don't do that Orangefurpaw."

Princessheart nudged him flirtatiously. "My hero."

He winked. "I love you endlessly, can we be mates?"

She swooned, licking his face. "Of course, Silvy."

Orangefurpaw plucked his Strictmoon voodoo doll from his kangaroo pouch and eyed the violent cat. He paced around MoonClan camp, screaming at whomever was not hard at work. He spotted Darkshadow close by, and an idea sprang to mind.

Reaching for his Darkshadow voodoo doll, he tweaked the legs of the doll and the dark warrior came flying out of he hedges. He was spying on Moonmoon and her many apprentices.

"DARKSHADOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" Strictmoon yowled.

Orangefurpaw moved Darkshadow forward and pulled his front leg, and he slapped Strictmoon in the face.

"Wha-?" he stuttered.

Strictmoon screeched, bounding after the warrior. Darkshadow burst through the bushes and scrambled out of MoonClan camp, screaming.

[Whoever did this, I will find you]

Orangefurpaw squeaked with delight and pushed through to MoonClan camp with the two mates on his heels. He glanced around and saw Amethystglimmer in the medicine den, seventy-five kits already at her belly.

"There's only seventy-five?! That's ridiculous, where is that tom?!" she cried in outrage.

Moonmoon shrugged. "Which one?"

"The one I got out a hole for kits, that one!" she flicked her tail at Orangefurpaw.

One of Moonmoon's apprentice bounded happily towards Orangefurpaw. "Congratulations! You have seventy-four sons and one daughter!"

"Wait what-?"

Princessheart grabbed the Amethystglimmer voodoo doll and tweaked it. The queen jumped to her paws and began to twerk. Moonmoon fainted in disgust, Silvertongue retched and pulled out his iPhone 69, dialling a number, while Orangefurpaw fought the urge to deep-throat deathberries.

"Damn, I didn't know I could move like this," Amethystglimmer commented, impressed.

Her seventy-four sons took one look at her thrusting motion and died immediately. But her daughter sat and watched in awe, entranced.

"I want to be just like my Mama!" she cried, standing up and trying to copy her.

Yellowstar bounded through MoonClan camp and stood beside Silvertongue, panting.

"What do you want?! I had to pause an episode of Toddlers And Tiaras!" she snapped.

"Meet your grandkit, Twerkkit," he mewed placidly, flicking his ear at the thrusting kit.

Orangefurpaw gulped, staring at his new daughter. She stopped twerking for a moment and looked at him, bouncing towards him and smiling widely. She pulled out a familiar looking doll, and Orangefurpaw gasped.

"This is for you!"

~ Written by Hazel, who's discovered she might have problems ~