Warriors: The Cliché Crossover

Chapter 26

Volebelly was stuffing his face with Orangefurpaw's prey, his stomach still grumbling as he swallowed bird after bird after squirrel after squirrel.

"Uh, is this normal?" Orangefurpaw meowed, turning toward Birdwing.

She let out a squeal as his fur brushed against hers. "Ew, don't touch me!" she hissed, taking a few steps back. "I'm a proud independent she-cat—I don't need no tom!" 

Orangefurpaw's eyes just widened, and he blinked slowly at her. "Yeah, I was just asking a question... am I not allowed to talk to anyone or something?"

Birdwing narrowed her eyes. "Quit trying to flirt with me! I already told you to back off... I already have a mate, so get lost."

"I'm not trying to flirt with you!" he meowed, exasperated. 

Birdwing burst into tears, curling into a ball and wailing her pain out to the world. "He's abusing me! He wants to kidnap me!"

Orangefurpaw inched away from the she-cat, turning to Volebelly. "So, uh," he began, trying to avoid staring at the tom's rolls of fat. "You enjoying that prey I caught?" The tom coughed awkwardly, wishing that there was some normal cat in MoonClan to talk to.

[Volebelly's not fat!] "It's delicious," Volebelly meowed brightly, shoving a few more mice into his mouth. "You're such a talented hunter." He batted his eyelashes flirtaciously, inching toward the tom and swiping his tongue around his jaws.

[Sure...] "Uh, I'm apparently already flirting with Birdwing, so I can't date you," Orangefurpaw meowed plainly. "Sorry bro."

Volebelly let out a sigh. "Will I ever be able to get a mate in this stupid Clan?" he muttered quietly, shoving another piece of prey down his throat.

"You could try Amethystglimmer," Orangefurpaw suggested.

Volebelly nodded thoughtfully. "I'll talk to her, though I don't want to get into a fight with the FBI agent."

Yellowstar stuck her head into the camp. "I'm single as well!" she called in a sing-song voice.

"Mom, get out," Orangefurpaw hissed, his cheeks turning red with embarrassment. 

"Don't you love me?" the ThunderClan leader wailed, dropping at his feet. "Volebelly could be your stepfather! We could be a happy family once again." 

"He's like half my age," Orangefurpaw responded with a mixed expression. "Now get out of MoonClan camp before they kick me out! It's nice not being known as the son of the crazy she-cat."

"Oh, we know she's crazy." Volebelly swiped his tongue around his jaws, looking hungrily at Yellowstar.

Thoroughly creeped out, Orangefurpaw padded into the warrior's den and settled into a nest next to Brokenleg.

Brokenleg turned to him. "Hi! You have a weird name."

"So do you," retorted the tom, trying to close his eyes and GO. TO. SLEEP.

"How rude," Brokenleg muttered, turning back to Brokenface. "So, as we were debating... Rudefur would make a great leader because..."

Orangefurpaw sighed and stood up, padding out of the LOUD warrior's den and entering the peaceful apprentice den. He sat in an empty nest, closing his eyes and resting his head on the moss.

"Hiya Orangefurpaw," meowed Redpaw.

Orangefurpaw gave up and jumped off a cliff. The end.

Redpaw gasped and chased after him, holding a few leaves of catmint. The apprentice quickly shoved them into Orangefurpaw's jaw, hoping he would be healed.

"Even my suicide is ruined by you stupid cats," grumbled the apprentice.

Brought to you by Rio ⛈⛈