Mending A Broken Soul (Mavin)

Chapter Fifteen: Guilt

Chapter Fifteen:
Guilt

I wasn't allowed to leave my room for the entire day after last night. Not that I'd want to. I was high out of my mind with the medications that they gave me.

I heard a knock on the door and the nurse assigned to watch me went and opened the door. I blinked my eyes, trying to make myself more alert. I sat up from the uncomfortable bed, finding that some of the medications had worn off, thankfully.

"Gavin has a visitor," A woman told the nurse. The nurse nodded and beckoned to me, urging me to stand up.

I slowly did and began to follow the nurse reluctantly. I felt kind of light and dizzy as I walked down the halls and I knew I stumbled a bit more then I should.

Eventually, the nurse opened a door where lots of tables and chairs were set out. My eyes rested on curly red hair and I instantly felt my heart jump.

Or maybe it sunk.

I didn't have enough time to think about it before I was being sat down in front of Michael.

"Hey, Gavin. How you feeling?" He asked me. I shrugged and scrunched up a little, feeling my anxiety begin to pick up as I felt a couple people's eyes rest on me.

"Look, Gav. I know you're probably pissed at me for letting those people take you away but you have to understand that I had no say in what happened. Personally, I would've wanted to have you stay home, even if it meant you're depression would end up getting worse, because that's what you wanted, and I'd do anything that you wanted, Gav," Michael told me.

"Tell me the truth or I'm leaving," I growled at him, feeling some of my pent up anger escape. I watched Michael sigh and roll his eyes, leaning forward a bit more.

"Gavin, this is what's best for you, even if you can't see that. You need help. There's only so much I can do before it becomes too much for me to handle. I love you with all my heart, Gavin. I couldn't just stand by and watch you slowly break apart," Michael told me.

"So, you did have a hand in this," I growled at him.

"Because it's what's best for you!" Michael argued.

"No, Michael! What's best for me is if you get out of my life and let me deal with this on my own! I dealt with this on my own for years so I sure as hell can continue dealing with it!" I shouted at him, causing some people to look at me. However, my anxiety of being watched was long gone.

Michael instantly shut up. I watched hurt drip into his eyes and I instantly felt a wave of guilt at what I said to him. I watched him stand up and throw a backpack over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry you feel this way, Gavin. If you think it's best I stay away, then I will," He told me. He began to walk away until he stopped and took the backpack off his shoulder, grabbing something from inside. Once he grabbed what he was looking for, he returned to me and handed me my journal.

"I thought you'd need this. You know, something to filter your thoughts out onto. I was hoping you would open up a little to me about it but I guess that won't be happening, now will it?" He said before kissing my cheek gently and walking away again.

I sat there, just staring straight ahead at the opposite wall. The journal rested in my hands, my thumbs not curling around to clutch it for whatever reason. I felt my cheek tingle where Michael kissed me.

Would Michael really stay away? The very thought frightened me. I hadn't meant what I said. Michael was honestly the only thing keeping me sane.

Eventually, a nurse told me it was time for me to go back to my room. I reluctantly stood up and followed her, feeling like each step brought me closer to my new prison.