Life Can Do Terrible Things // Ben Bruce

25. You Taught Me Love

Get ready for some fluff darlings <3

Song: Plans- Birds Of Tokyo

Picture: a lovely ring ;)

~~ New Years Eve ~~

"Don't. Take. My. Baby." I whined, clutching my three and a half month old son to my chest.

"Issy." Ben whispered as he tried to pry Noah out of my arms. "It's New Years. We haven't had a date since our anniversary. Can you please surrender the child?"

I pouted as I clung onto Noah and turned away from Ben. "Let's take him with us!" I exclaimed as if it were the best idea in the world.

Ben rolled his eyes. "No." He took Noah out of my grasp and laid his quiet form down on the change table. "Now, I want you to go into our bedroom and get beautiful. Monique will be here with Danny and their baby in an hour."

I smothered Noah's face with kisses before I left Ben to change him. "I hate you for making me do this."

"No you don't!" He called after me.

I didn't want to leave my precious, beautiful, amazing, perfect little baby boy. He had been a dream since the day after I had him. Everyone in the immediate family and friends were in and out of our hospital room for the two days following his birth. He's captured everyone's hearts in his short three and a half months of life. Sarah, Dicky and Bex left three days after we came home from the hospital and let me tell you, it was a struggle. Sarah didn't want to part with her grandson and Dicky had to physically drag her onto the plane. Ben and I have been doing the normal parenting thing, posting photos on social media nonstop, which pleases Sarah. Ben has been dividing his time between our home studio and Sumerian to work on the new AA record. Monique gave birth to Alice Worsnop on the 31st of November. Danny is enamoured with her and will rarely leave the house because he doesn't want to leave Alice or his fiancée. Yeah, Danny and Monique got engaged on Christmas Morning which is very sweet if you ask me. Ben is a little more comfortable with leaving Noah than Danny is with Alice but he volunteers to change nappies and get up for 2am feedings. It's great to see himself and Danny slow down a lot and become more family orientated.

All of my time has been focused on Noah. I revel in being a mother; caring and nurturing people is obviously my calling. I'm so wrapped up in him and how much I love him. Everything he does is so special. He's just a wondrous creature that has luckily been granted to me. I'm really not looking forward to going back to work in two months but I have to. Usually you go back to work when the baby is fourteen weeks but I've convinced Jason to extend it. He obliged seeing as this is my first child and he is a parent himself. Ben goes back on tour in March which is a month after I go back to work. When Ben is on tour and I am at work, Brandi and Jamie and Brittany have generously made a roster so they can each look after Noah and Alice until we want to send them off to daycare. I'm pretty anxious to see how Ben will go with Noah for an entire day. Hopefully he won't drop him down the stairs or something equally as horrid.

To be honest, I didn't really want to put on a dress and slather on makeup. I wanted to sit on the couch with Ben by my side and Noah sleeping on my lap with a glass of wine in my hand. I love Ben, more than life, and I agree that we need to spend more time together but... Noah. Noah occupies my time and heart and my attention now and I feel bad for pushing Ben aside. Ben knows how much I love him and he realises how it is for a new mother and her baby but that doesn't rid me of my guilt. I didn't know what he had in store tonight but I wished it wasn't something extravagant. I have lost my love of all things exciting and over the top; I just wanted to be slow with my life. Why go fast when I have so much to savour?

I went about my closet trying desperately to figure out what to wear. I had lost a lot of weight magically since I gave birth and a lot of my old clothes fit me again. I should've asked Ben where we were going. I should ask now. I walked out of the room, hiking up the straps of my Ramones tank. I crossed to the nursery where Ben was holding a swaddled Noah. I watched by the doorframe as Ben spoke absolute gibberish with the happiest look on his face. When Ben caught sight of me, his face brightened up even more.