Life Can Do Terrible Things // Ben Bruce

29. Never Felt Weaker In My Entire Life

As I said in the last chapter, this is not lazy writing okay? Enjoy c:

Song: Honey & The Moon- Joseph Arthur

The words Dr Rosario spoke did not register in my brain for a second until they replayed in my mind.

"Mr and Mrs Bruce, I'm so sorry. Isabella, you have second stage lymphoma. They cyst in your throat is a tumour. You have cancer."

Fear overrode my senses. My hands started to sweat profusely as I clutched to Ben's hands. My eyes were dry and itchy but I couldn't bring myself to blink. All moisture that resided in my mouth evaporated, leaving the hollow cave of my mouth dry. Fear bubbled like a brew in the pit of my empty stomach. Ben beside me had broken down, sobs wretched from his throat as I watched, unmoving, not knowing what to do. I tried to move my body so I could comfort him but my muscles had frozen and I couldn't move my tendons or muscles. Dr Rosario stood up, saying he'd be back in a minute. He closed the door behind him as he walked out. Ben's tears shattered through my ear drums, registering in my mind and scarring my thoughts.

"Oh Issy." He cried throwing his head in my chest. "I'm so sorry."

My hands moved to his hair and I started to run the feathered strands through my fingertips. "Shh, shh. We'll be okay."

I didn't know how to do anything else but to comfort him. I didn't need to be comforted, I wasn't crying, I wasn't sad or angry, I was emotionless. I didn't know how to react to any news of this sort.

"We'll fight this together. I'll be okay." I vaguely promised my broken husband. "We'll be fine."

I prayed to the Lord above that I would be okay, that my family would be okay.

Ben ejected himself from me and pulled me into his chest, squeezing me as tightly as possible.

"I can't lose you Issy. I was close enough once before." He sobbed. "I can't do it."

I wrapped my arms around his torso. "I'm not going anywhere."

We sat there for a while, holding each other for support. We didn't know what else to do. A few tears even escaped from my emerald eyes.

"I love you." He whispered into my hair.

"I love you." I replied, voice thick with emotion.

The door opened back up and Dr Rosario stepped back inside. He solemnly resided back in his chair behind his desk.

"So I came back to give you a synopsis on your illness and your treatment options. If you want me to stop or you need a minute alone at any time, feel free to let me know." He started.

Ben and I sniffled at the same. He continued.

"So lymphoma is a blood cancer that occurs when white blood cells start to divide faster than normal cells and live longer than usual. White blood cells are designed to build up your immune system and protect your body from illness. They're called lymphocytes. These cells will multiply and multiply, group together and form that tumour at the gland at the base of your throat."

"So you will need chemotherapy, maybe radiation and if the situation intensifies, a bone marrow transplant. Lymphoma is a very curable cancer and has a high survival rate. Luckily, we caught it earlier, this will be easy to treat. But, if it is left untreated, it can spread to your other organs and can kill you. We can book another appointment to start chemo whenever you want."

"I want to start tomorrow. I want to get better." I insisted.

Ben looked at me blankly but I wasn't sure what he expected me to say.