The Beginning ~Kaname Kuran love story~

~Chapter 14~

*MISAKI*
I have an unsettling feeling, I feel as if though something bad is about to happen but maybe, just maybe, this gut wrenching feeling has been caused by the one expression I never thought I would see on Kaname's face, pain and rejection.
I've told myself time and again that Kaname is the sky and I'm the earth, no matter what happens, the sky and earth never unite...
Shaking my head, I slapped my face to rid myself of all thoughts, it's not like I like him or something.
"You have confirmed my suspicion" I raised an eyebrow and looked over at Aidou who had stuffed his hands in his coats as we walked through town "what suspicion?" I muttered knowing that he was about to say that I'm crazy, I mean, I literally just slapped myself in the middle of a crowded street, if I'm not crazy then what else can I be?
"You're crazy" I sighed before rolling my eyes slightly, see? I told you he was going to say that.
I drew my lips into a thin line as we continued to stroll through the streets "what exactly are we doing?" I questioned stopping in my tracks, we had been roaming around aimlessly for the past hour after he literally dragged me out of school when my exam finished without giving me time to change and he is yet to tell me why he wanted ME out of all people to come to town with him.
A smirk stretched across my lips as I turned to face him completely "wait a minute-" I started leaning towards him which made him arch his eyebrows and bend slightly backwards "was this your way of asking me out on a date? I mean, I honestly thought you had a thing for Yori"
Aidou's face became completely red at my attempt to tease him and he quickly stepped away from me flustered "s-shut up! Who would want to go on a date with you?!" he said defensively folding his arms across his chest.
So he's not denying that he does in fact have a thing for Yori...
"Okay then, I'm out of here" I shrugged nonchalantly turning on my heel to leave but a heavy hand planted itself on my shoulder and a depressed aura emitted from the owner of the hand. My eyes widened as I turned around to see Aidou bent over slightly and sweat dropped at his stance.
"I need help, choosing out gifts for everyone" I deadpanned at his reason for dragging me out here, I could hardly manage buying gifts on my own, how was I supposed to help him?
Looking at Aidou's crest fallen expression upon seeing my hesitance made a sigh escape my lips "where should we start?"
For the next few hours, the two of us visited nearly all the shops in town looking for what Aidou calls the 'perfect presents' for everyone in the night class and honestly, I'm regretting agreeing to come with him. He is so stubborn!
'Aidou, what about this?'
'Rejected'
'How about that?'
'Absolutely rejected!'
That is how we've spent most of our time, me showing him something and him rejecting it and after scouring through more shops, he'll go back and buy what I showed him in the first place, so you see my plight?
"Now what do we need?" Aidou muttered to himself tapping his chin and I deadpanned behind him as a blue aura surrounded us "a bit of help is what I need" I said bringing his attention to my hunched over figure due to the numerous bags I was handling whilst he strolled ahead of me like a king.
Aidou gulped nervously on noticing my deadly glare and hastily grabbed a few shopping bags from my grasp "thanks" I smiled relieved of the burden of carrying the shopping bags all alone but my smile faltered when I saw Aidou's flaming red face.
Before I could ask him about it, his phone started ringing so he answered it "ah, Kaname-sama" my eyes widened and the floor suddenly seemed very interesting "Misaki is fine, would you like to talk to her?"
My heart started racing at the thought of talking to Kaname so I did the first logical thing I could think of "I have to use the washroom!" I yelled dropping the bags I was carrying and fled to the closest female washroom there is.
I bent over the sink and took deep breaths in to calm my palpating heart which threatened to pop out any second now. I'm really going crazy or maybe the insomnia is finally having it's toll on me, why is it that only he can have this affect on me? The mere thought of him makes my heart ache, the mere thought of his pained expression is like a dagger piercing my heart over and over again...
I don't know what to do anymore...
Collecting my thoughts and composing myself, I walked back outside only to find Aidou leaning against a tree with his arms crossed and once he noticed me coming out, he beckoned me over to him. I still have a chance to run, should I take it?
Sighing, I slowly dragged myself over to where Aidou was scrutinizing my movement "care to explain?" he demanded once I was in the talking range "explain what?" I questioned nonchalantly picking up a few bags sprawled around his feet "why did you run when Kaname-sama wanted to talk to you? How dare you disrespect him like that?"
I don't know what it was that led me to snap but I did, I finally snapped. Maybe it's because of my emotional turmoil or maybe it's because of my scattered thoughts, but whatever it was, was enough to trigger an outburst.
"You have no right to be asking me such questions when you don't know the gut-wrenching emotions I feel around him, I don't know what it is but the thought of him is enough to make me lose my composure, so you have no right to question me!"
Aidou watched wide-eyed as I panted softly wiping away a stray tear which managed to escape my eyes during my outburst "I-I'm sorry" I muttered embarrassed due to the fact that what I said indicated that I was in love with Kaname, which I am not.
Aidou remained silent for a while before nodding "wait here, I need to go to one more store and then we can grab something to eat" I just nodded silently and slumped against the tree as I watched Aidou stalk off in some random direction before he shook his head and went in the opposite direction...okay then?
Just as I was about to sit down on the ground, a searing pain ran through my back and my eyes widened as I bit my lip to prevent the loud scream of pain because there were too many people around. Why is this happening now? This can't be happening to me right now, not in the middle of town!
I tied the bags to the tree before running off in the direction of the woods but this time, it was to save myself from blowing the secret which has changed my life in more ways than one.
This secret has never threatened me in such a way as it has now, the pain in my back was making it impossible for me to run any faster than I already was.
As soon as I got deep enough into the woods, I collapsed onto the ground and let the screams I had been holding in out as my fingers dug into the soil with tears pouring out of my eyes. It's never hurt this much before!
A final earth shattering scream escaped my lips as a shredding sound was heard and all the pain subsided as I caught sight of the pure white angel wings which shielded my body "you act as if you protect me but you only cause pain when you have to come" I muttered breathlessly as I made the wings stretch out. This is my secret, no I am not a pure angel, I don't know how these wings came to be. They came on my thirteenth birthday for the first time, I remember I had freaked my entire family out with my screams of pain, neither could they figure out what was happening to me nor could I.
Black dots started clouding my vision as I tried to regain a grip on myself but the darkness completely engulfed me.

"~Misa-chan~ Happy birthday!" I looked up at my foster mother, Haruka, and smiled widely. It was my thirteenth birthday and I couldn't help but feel excited about entering my teenage years "is puberty finally going to hit you, Misa?"
I shifted my gaze over to my foster brother Nao who was two years older than me and he stuck his tongue out at me teasingly "as if it hit you" I calmly retorted and he deadpanned at my neutral expression when he knew I was trying to hide my victorious smirk "oh really?" he challenged and swiftly took of his shirt exposing his abs "Nao put your shirt back on!" I shrieked covering my eyes and swatted at him with my free hand.
Nao chuckled and kissed my forehead after a minute and I opened my eyes to see him with his shirt back on and sighed in relief. He's always looking for an excuse to take off his shirt, that boy...
After opening my presents and cutting the cake my foster mother made for me, I got ready for the day and wore the dress my foster parents got for me. It was a pretty white dress with a lace embroidered top and the skirt was white silk which stopped above my knee and the back went down to my ankles.
"You look beautiful Misa" my foster father, Sousuke, smiled and patted my head gently before my mother embraced me tightly.
Just then, a searing pain spread through my back and I let out a blood curling scream and within seconds Nao was beside me "Misaki,what happened?!"
I couldn't respond as I hunched over and fell to the ground writhing and screaming in agony, this was painful!
It felt like someone had thrown me into a fire and my bones were melting, that's how painful it was until a rip sounded and a pair of white wings wrapped themselves around me. W-What's this?
All three of my family members stared at me in awe before Nao wrapped me up in his embrace just as I fainted.
I was with this family for another one and a half years and they always protected me and my secret, they also made me swear not to tell anyone unless it was life threatening because if the wrong people knew, they would take advantage of it.
I could feel the setting shifting to a dark place which I've always feared...
"You useless wastrel! If the food isn't ready in five minutes, I'll get my belt and whip you to death!" my new foster father, Kai, yelled and kicked me into the kitchen but not before punching my face a good few times.
It's been only a month since this couple adopted me and I've got a lifetime's abuse in such a short span of time, from a loving family and warm home, I've been shoved into a cruel house where my so called parents find satisfaction in abusing me.
I shakily grabbed a frying pan and set it on the stove just as my foster mother burst into the kitchen obviously drunk. When I saw them for the first time, they seemed to be kind and loving people who couldn't conceive a child of their own but now I know better, even God didn't want to curse a poor soul with having horrendous parents like them.
Alas, it was my bad luck that I was deceived into thinking they were better people.
"You stupid bitch! Why isn't the food ready as yet?!" she demanded slapping me across the face but she used her long nails which caused scrapes to come on the right side of my cheek before she threw the frying pan off the stove and grabbed my hand, pulling me closer to the stove.
"N-N-No! Please!" I pleaded trying to escape her grasp but she slapped the back of my head every time I tried to resist "please! Stop!" I cried out as she turned the heat up on the electric stove and then took my wrist and placed it over the heated coil.

I opened my eyes breathing heavily whilst clutching my wrists where the scars of being burnt were hidden by concealer.
"Misaki" a smooth voice laced with concern which always seemed to make me feel safe called out as my eyes focused on Kaname's face which held nothing but concern in his expression. I hoisted myself up and clenched the sheets in my fists as tears obscured my vision, why couldn't I escape from that hell even when I've been taken out of it?
"Are you okay?" Kaname questioned putting his hand over my clenched fist before gently placing it behind my head and bringing me into his chest. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall before wiping them away quickly and lifted my gaze to meet his, his beautiful garnet eyes made me feel nothing but safe with the way he was gently looking at me as if I were made of glass, one wrong move and I might break.
Why are you so kind Kaname? Why is it that you make me feel safe?
"I'm fine, just had a bad dream" I answered moving my head back a little as our close proximity was having it's effect on me. My eyes traveled down to his pink lips which were parted slightly as his eyes carefully analyzed me as if searching for an answer which I wasn't giving him.
His long slender fingers pushed my bangs out of my face and I flinched as he caressed my cheeks "I'm sorry, I seem to be scaring you" Kaname sighed letting his hand fall to his side before straightening up and turning around to leave "I'll have Yuki come instead"
Without thinking, I grabbed onto his sleeve to stop him from leaving. There was something about him being around me which made me feel safe and I know that I mean nothing to him and even if I do have any sort of romantic feelings towards him, he will never reciprocate my feelings but just for now, just for sometime...I want to be with him.
Call it a moment of weakness or what you may, but I need to know that he's here and for a selfish moment, that he's here...for me.
Kaname turned around and looked at me questioningly whilst I loosened my grip on his sleeve before bringing my hand back to the sheets as I realized that I was in the infirmary "can...can you stay here for a little bit...please?" I gulped as I averted my eyes away from his intense gaze and Kaname sighed before lifting my chin up to meet his gaze.
"Aren't you afraid of me?"
I fell silent as my eyes searched his as he awaited an answer, am I afraid of him? Kaname took my silence as an indication that I was indeed afraid of him.
His eyes displayed such loneliness that looking at it made a heart-wrenching emotion course through my veins. Kaname waited for another moment to see if I would say anything but the way his fingers were still gently holding my chin up, made me lose all rational sense as I continued to stare at the raw emotions swirling in his garnet orbs, it was as if though he let his guard down to let me see his pain and loneliness, and most importantly his suffering which he hides deep inside his heart without letting anyone know about it.
By the time I snapped out of my trance, Kaname had left my chin and flashed me one last look before making his way out of the door.
Tears started streaming down my face before I could realize their presence, the look on Kaname's face showed nothing but disappointment and hurt. Why is my opinion so important to him? I'm just a normal human who has no effect on him, then why? Why is it that I feel as if though I'm the reason for his hurt expression?
I bent my knees and put my hands over them as I let all the tears I had in my system flow out like a river.
Who am I to you Kaname? Why is it that only you can make me feel like this?
I helplessly stared at the door hoping that maybe, just maybe, Kaname might come back but I know, I know that in some way, I have deeply hurt him and this time, I've screwed up.
I went to town again with Aidou even though Kaname asked me not to go, I watched like a dumb idiot as he walked out the door with the impression that I'm afraid of him. I am the absolute worst.
I am sorry, Kaname...it seems like all I can give people is pain...

*KANAME*
I'm sorry Misaki...I really am...
I clenched my jaw as I placed my back against the wall and listened to soft sobs emit from the infirmary. There's nothing more that I want to do than barge in there and wrap her up in my arms with the intention of never letting her go but what right do I have? She's afraid of me.
Every time that I have any physical contact with her, she flinches away from me, whenever I try to hold her gaze, she will look away. She can't even say my name!
I want Misaki to make her own decisions, I don't want to bring her into this merciless and cruel world painted in blood. Misaki is pure and innocent, there's no doubt that these manipulative vampires will desire her blood to become more powerful. I'm one to talk, I'm just as manipulative, if not worse...
All these years, everything that has happened, is all because of me. Haruka and Juri, always cared for me even though they knew that I was the reason their first born child died and they treated me like a son.
The Yuki came followed by Misaki, both of them were precious to me but Misaki captured my heart the second she opened her innocent doe-like eyes.
If I had been more alert and useful, this day would never have come. Haruka and Juri would be showering their love on their two beautiful daughters, Misaki and Yuki would be known as the pureblood princesses who would have countless admirers at their every beck and call, I would be freely able to express my love for Misaki. Alas, fate has cruel ways and this is my punishments for every bad deed I've done. The one I have always loved is so close to me yet so far away, she's been abused when I was supposed to protect her.
Even today when Aidou called Takuma to inform him that Misaki had disappeared, a sense of dread filled me as I left all my work and started looking for Misaki.
When I found her, she was sprawled across the muddy ground in the woods and level E's were getting attracted to her scent. Kurans have always had blood which called out to all vampires but there's something in Misaki's blood which is even more inviting than normal Kuran blood.
"I'm useless" I muttered placing a hand over my face as the fear of losing Misaki overpowered all my other thoughts.
I want to protect her and show her that I love her but she doesn't see me in that light, I probably mean nothing to her...
I love you Misaki, it's not because of who you were, it's because of who you are. I've fallen in love with you all over again...but you may never be mine...