The Beginning ~Kaname Kuran love story~

~Chapter 16~

*Misaki*
One thing I'd learnt in my life so far is that showing weakness is a fatal flaw, in the past year, I've had to have a lion's heart to ensure my survival. If I had fallen weak all those times when I wanted nothing more than for the torture to end where I was willing to succumb to the darkness to finish my suffering once and for all, I would have never gotten the opportunity to experience these different emotions. Joy, anger, sorrow and all of the thousands of feelings which pass through me like a storm have somehow made me realize, that at no point in life will everything be perfect, where there is joy there is sorrow but just as every good time is plagued by sorrow, likewise, every rainy day is followed by a rainbow.
Bad accompanies good and good accompanies bad, they always walk hand in hand. That's the way of life...
Even though I've said that showing weakness is a fatal flaw, I'm being a complete hypocrite as I had spent the entire night sniffling in bed even after I cried my eyes out on Yuki's shoulder. I told her about everything, right from the start and she listened attentively to every word that left my mouth.
'My brother is a simple man Misaki, if you think that you have wronged him then just apologize to him and he'll understand. Although...I don't think what you said is wrong, you were correct in your place and maybe even he had his reasons as he only wants to keep you safe' Yuki's words ran through my mind as I sat down on a bench near the fountain with my IPod'believe me, he won't hold it against you'.
Kaname might not hold it against me but I feel guilty, I was out of line and I didn't even want to say that to him. In the heat of the moment, I said things which I never meant to say. If only I had been honest with him last night, if only I had told him that I like him...
I think I know what he would have told me in response, even I wonder the same thing, I know nothing about him, what his likes and dislikes are or what he likes to do, then on what basis can I say that I like him?
I know that, I know that I know nothing about him but yet, my foolish heart doesn't seem to understand that.
Even though I haven't the slightest idea as to when it all started or what started it all but one thing is for sure, I started falling for his every action, his every gesture.
I guess I fell for his gentle smile or was it his captivating gaze?
Was it the warmth of his embrace or maybe it was because of the feeling of being safe?
Was it because of his tender touch or was it because of his protectiveness?
Was it his wise words or was it the warmth in his eyes?
I'm sure Kaname didn't think much of his gestures as they must be a normal habit of his but for me...it was what drew me in.
I laughed bitterly "I'm the worst, I like him yet I'm the one who burnt the bridge leading to him" I sighed before rubbing my eyes which had become dry due to all the tears I've cried.
I made up my mind, I'm not performing at the competition tomorrow, it makes no sense. As it is, I never had a song chosen out and neither do I have the strength or will to write and compose a song for tomorrow.
"You look like crap" I glowered at Aidou as he walked by briefly taking in my appearance but I just ignored him and went back to staring at the ground. I was wearing a pair of black sweatpants with a white full sleeve shirt and a black jumper.
Aidou halted in his steps before back tracking to tower over me "what? no snarky comment?" he questioned sarcastically but all he got was silence in response "bang bang!"
I finally raised my eyebrows as I looked at him as if he was retarded "you okay?" I questioned taking in his stance, he had one eye closed as if winking and had positioned his index finger and thumb to make it look like a gun was pointing at me.
The whole atmosphere turned dark blue as three black dots appeared while Aidou kept his pose and I looked at him questioning his sanity in my mind before he slouched over depressed and let out a loud huff "normally girls squeal at that" he muttered to himself before straightening up and looking straight at me then stomped off.
What on earth was that about?
My eyes searched around a bit before I shook my head and put in my headphones, I have better luck in winning a lottery than figuring Aidou out...
Huh, this is so ironic, the song that's playing right now seems like it was made from my thoughts, it has words which convey how I feel about Kaname and my dilemma at this point in time.
I sighed as I propped my feet up on my bench and lay down "~Say~~Who are you thinking of right now?~" I sang along with the song softly draping a hand around around my eyes as I could feel a tear leak out of the corner of my eyes. These tears sure are annoying, they always show up for no reason at all.
My body stiffened as I felt something touch my hand covering my eyes, I brought my hand off of my face and opened my eyes to see a chocolate dangling above my head before it was pulled away.
Looking to the side, I saw Aidou squatting down with his face in the palm of his hand which was resting on his knee and the other hand was outstretched holding a cup of steaming liquid in my direction.
"What are you doing?" I inquired straightening up as I took a good look at his flaming red face which he refused to turn in my direction "shut up and drink it, the last thing you need is to fall sick before your performance tomorrow" Aidou grumbled bringing the cup closer to me as I stared at the steam coming out of the cup and the warmth emitting from the cup was very inviting so I gingerly took it from his grasp as he straightened up.
"Thanks but I'm not going to participate" I mumbled wrapping my fingers around the cup letting my hands warm up before I blew over the hot chocolate to cool it down a bit so that I don't burn my mouth, my eyes drifted over to the burn mark which was exposed and completely blistered at this point.
Aidou was about to say something before he noticed what my gaze was focused on "You stupid girl!" he roared and I jumped surprised by his outburst as he ran off somewhere and returned in a matter of minutes with a first aid kit.
He plucked the cup out of my grasp and sat down next to me as he pulled my hand closer towards him "how long have you kept this open?" Aidou inquired examining the blister before softly poking it making me hiss in pain "don't poke it!" I protested bringing my hand away from him only to have him grab it again and he looked at me expectantly which made me stare at him blankly for a few seconds before I remembered his question "last night" I muttered and a look of understanding dawned in his sapphire blue eyes.
Aidou shook his head at me as he took out an antiseptic ointment and a crepe bandage before carefully applying the cool cream over the blister "why aren't you taking part in the competition?" Aidou said looking up to meet my gaze as he handed me the hot chocolate in my free hand before focusing on my injured hand.
"I don't have a partner" I shrugged nonchalantly taking a sip of my hot chocolate and yelped out in pain when Aidou poked the blister but he did it spitefully this time "stop making excuses, I have a fair idea about what happened between you and Kaname-sama last night"
I froze with the cup inches away from my lips as I looked at Aidou "what do you know?" I cautiously questioned not wanting to give anything away in case he was bluffing "the fact that Kaname-sama has locked himself up in his room and he evidently wrecked it too thanks to the hole in the wall, plus the guilt in your eyes and your dead behavior only points towards one possibility, you two must have argued about something" Aidou stated confidently as he skillfully wrapped the bandage around my hand before placing a few strips of tape on it to hold it in place.
"We didn't argue as such" I muttered defensively after I got over my shock that the calm and composed Kaname made a hole in the wall.
Aidou gave me a look which clearly indicated that he knew more than he was letting on "I don't care, all I know is that I want you to fix this. I don't understand why you seem to mean so much to him but I admire him, so you will participate tomorrow and clear up things with him"
I bit back a snide remark as I already know that I have to apologize to him, I just don't know how...
"What if I say no?" I challenged Aidou who smirked in response and I looked at him expectantly as he reached into his pocket "I can show this first to Kaname-sama and then to the entire school" Aidou said wickedly as he looked at his screen before turning it around for me to see.
I spit the hot chocolate that was in my eyes which made Aidou grimace but a smirk made its way onto his face "where did you get that from?!"

I deadpanned as I carefully watched the picture of me half-asleep on the railing during patrol, in my defense, I was dead tired!
"Delete it! Why on earth do you have a picture of me anyways?!" I demanded trying to take the phone from him but he chuckled and kept it back in his pocket "to blackmail you of course" Aidou said blatantly without any hesitation at all.
I mean, seriously? He didn't even give a second before answering and from his straight face, I can tell that he's dead serious when he says he has it to blackmail me. This guy...
"See you tomorrow, and don't disappoint me, after all, I'm a judge" my jaw unhinged as Aidou got up and started strolling off before throwing something over his shoulder.
My hand raised up automatically acting on my reflexes to catch whatever he hurled at me, I turned my hand upwards to see that it was the same chocolate that he was dangling above my head. I smiled softly and shook my head, he really is hard to figure out, one minute he's trying to freeze me, the next he's giving me hot chocolate to keep me warm. He's not as bad as he tries to show he is after all...
I know what I have to do, I need to apologize to Kaname and try to convey some of my feelings to him, what is wrong with me? I should have gone back as soon as I said all that and apologized.
I got up and started moving towards the moon dorm but I faltered in my steps as I turned my IPod over showing the song that I felt I could relate to in my current situation. My gaze flickered up to look at the moon dorms, was a simple sorry enough?
Honestly, my heart is pounding at the thought of going in there and facing him, is he angry? or does it make no difference to him?
Music has always helped me then why don't I use music once more to convey my feelings to him? This song is perfect.
I'm not going to tell him that I like him, after all this blows over -if he forgives me-, I want to get to know him so that one day, I can look him in the eye and tell him that I like him. It doesn't matter if he rejects me after that, at least I would have gotten my feelings across to him.
''That song you sang, it was beautiful just like you. Will you sing again sometime...for me?'
I smiled at I remembered what Kaname had told me that day, I remember everything about him, his tender gaze and his gentle touch, I won't be able to forget him even if I tried.
Of course Kaname, I'll sing again...just for you...but please, let my voice reach your heart...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~***~*~~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~**~~*

"Oh my gosh!" Yuki squealed as she burst into my room "nee-chan?" I questioned groggily as I sat up on my bed. I had stayed up late rehearsing and then when I tried to sleep, horrible memories resurfaced and by the time I was able to get some sleep, which was half an hour ago, Yuki came bounding into my room.
"Get up" Yuki whined plopping down on my bed as she started poking my sides in an attempt to make me a human from a zombie. I groaned and put a pillow over my head to block out her voice as she kept whining childishly.
Soon it was quiet which made me sigh in relief as I snuggled into my bed but my relief was short lived when my warm and cozy blanket was ripped off by the cruel girl I call my sister "Yuki" I groaned sitting up to glare at her but I stopped midway as I looked over at Yuki only to see her holding a dress out to me.
My eyes widened as I took in the features of the dress, it was beautiful...
"Where did you get this from?" I gawked as I reached out to feel the soft material of the black and grey dress (A/N: Refer to the pic on top :D)
"Secret" Yuki grinned cheekily sending a wink in my direction "the competition starts in three hours Misaki, come on, get ready" Yuki urged hauling me up from the bed as I started to protest "three hours Yuki! I won't take more than twenty minutes to get ready"
Yuki stopped in her tracks and turned around to glare at me which made me sweatdrop "I'm giving you half an hour to shower and wear the dress. Do not touch your hair until I come or else" Yuki trailed off sending me another glare as she placed the dress in my hands and walked out of my room smirking.
What is with everyone trying to threaten me?!
I sighed and shook my head, it's better I don't waste time because I need to cover up the scars too before Yuki comes barging in again. She even has my room keys...
I stood under the shower as warm water poured over me, I can only hope that what I'm about to do will work. What if Kaname isn't there?
I shook my head to rid myself of the negative thoughts, why won't he be there? He's a judge after all. My fist closed around my necklace and I clenched my eyes shut "please Kaname...please come" I whispered to myself leaning my head against the shower wall.
After I finished covering up all my scars, I slipped on the dress and looked in the mirror in the bathroom and my breath hitched for a second. It felt as if though this dress was specifically made for me, as if every inch of the silky material was tailored to perfection just for me.
I tucked a strand of my wet hair behind my ear as I continued to admire the dress, it really was perfect...
"Misaki!" I sighed as I heard Yuki barge into my room again "coming!" I called before doing a thorough once over to ensure that every bruise and scar was properly concealed.
I walked out of the bathroom to see Yuki dumping a whole bag of cosmetics on the dresser as Yori quietly observed her with hidden amusement "what are you doing?"
Yuki turned around at the sound of my voice and her eyes widened as she took in my appearance which made me fidget nervously "how is it?" I question looking at the dress in the mirror as my hands ran over the smooth material.
My eyes darted to Yuki-and Yori who joined us- to see that their mouths were slightly agape "is it that bad?" I raised an eyebrow, the dress was undoubtedly beautiful but the fact that I was wearing it might have taken out the beauty factor.
"You look gorgeous!" Yuki exclaimed throwing her hands on my shoulders and grinning "he really does have a good taste in clothes" she muttered to herself taking in the dress once more "who?" I furrowed my eyebrows looking at her.
Her eyes widened a fraction as they drifted back up to meet mine and she shook her head hurriedly before ushering me to the dresser as she shoved me onto a chair as she and Yori started sifting through all of the cosmetics.
Yuki grabbed the concealer and turned to me but a frown soon appeared on her porcelain features as she brought her hand up to my face and rubbed the skin gently before straightening up and examining her finger "you're already wearing concealer?"
I gulped nervously as I tried thinking of a feasible excuse...fast
"I thought it would save time" I rushed out and they raised an eyebrow at me "concealer is the basic part, I had some extra time so I just put it" I shrugged nonchalantly hoping that they would believe my lie.
I feel as if though I'm getting entangled in my web of lies but it's not like I can help it, the only way to be able to stop the lies is if I tell them what happened in my last home and that topic is something I want to bury and never think of again.
Ironic huh? I never want to think about it but every day when I look in the mirror, I see the reminders imprinted onto my skin. There's no escape. This is my ugly truth...it always will be.