Diary of an Average Nebraskan Christian Teen Girl

February 7th, 2016

A/N: Above is a picture of Madyson, in case any of you were wondering what she looked like. Comment what you thought that she looked like!

9:49 P.M.

Hey God,

I called Emily on Monday and Wednesday, and she didn't answer, and she hasn't called me back. I'm not sure why this is happening, what have I done wrong? It hurts, it really does. I tried to reach out and she wasn't there. It's not like she's away from her phone, she has been on Snapchat a ton, and most of her snaps have had Jennifer in them, which  makes it hurts even more. Anyway, remember how I said that Pastor David is preaching about love during February? Well, Tuesday was about love between friends, and he mentioned so many different verses, like the first part of Proverbs 17:17, "A friend loves at all times.", and Proverbs 27:17, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." It was really great, it made me realize how great of a friend Madyson really is to me, even though I haven't known her for very long at all. It also made me call Emily again the next day. I called her again because he mentioned the verse "Do unto to others as you would have them do unto you." (Luke 6:31) and I would want Emily to call me again, she could have just been super busy, but it hurt even more when she didn't answer the second time. I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to do in this situation. I don't want to be annoying, so I won't call her again, but I can't help but wonder if our friendship is over, I was actually really looking forward to talking to her and catching up. I was looking up more verses about friendship earlier today, and I found this one, "Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house- too much of you, and they will hate you." (Proverbs 25:17). Have I been stepping foot in her house (reaching out to her) too much? I didn't think so, I haven't talked to her in almost 2 months! I'll just leave it to her now, if she wants to talk to me, she will. Maybe she doesn't want to, and I guess that's okay. Not every friendship is meant to last forever.. I'm going to try to think about her less, and I'll try to talk to You about her less, maybe I can just forget. Move on, and forget. I really just want to forget. I want to focus on other people, like Madyson, Francesca, and Isabelle. They're so great. Isabelle, who I haven't even hung out with outside of co-op yet, asked me if I was okay on Friday, she said that she thought that something could be wrong. I didn't tell her how I was feeling, I should have, but when I talk about my feelings to other people besides You I feel like I'm bothering them or like I'm being selfish, so I decided not to, I told her that I was just tired, which wasn't a lie, I was tired. I guess that I should have talked to her, but it just felt good to know that someone notices and cares. Thanks so much for them, they're great. They welcomed me like I was a long lost friend, I can literally feel Your love through them, I can't be more thankful, I just hope that I don't do something to mess it up. That's all that I have to write to You today, I'll talk to you later, I love you, Goodnight.

~ Chloe E. Almond