Diary of an Average Nebraskan Christian Teen Girl

March 13th, 2016

1:25 A.M.

Hey God,

Yesterday (aka a few hours ago) around noon, I came home from a sleepover at Isabelle's house, and Chad and Emily Whitman were standing in my living room. I started crying when I saw them because I was so surprised and upset. They were the farthest thing from my mind in that moment. Since this week is spring break and my birthday, my parents brought them here to surprise me. They had been planning on doing this since we moved; Chad and Emily are here until next Sunday.

As soon as I saw them, all the memories of everything that happened in February came back to me. Chad looked uneasy, but Emily looked happy to see me, which was surprising. I managed to hug them and to say a few words, but after that I went to my room to unpack my stuff from the sleepover. I was so confused, and I still am confused as to why he would agree to come after everything that happened last month.

I completely broke down in my room. I didn't know what to do, and I still have no idea how I'm going to make it through this week. I feel horrible because my parents still have no idea what happened, the only person that I told was Madyson. After awhile in my room, I tried to cover up the fact that I was crying, and as I was about to leave my room and force myself to talk to my friends, if they were still my friends, someone knocked on my door. It was Emily. She said that she was wondering what was taking me so long, but before I could answer, she saw the puffy eyes that I tried to hide. She flat out asked me why I was crying, and why I wasn't happy to see them. I was surprised that she didn't know, but I decided to just tell her everything, from her missing my calls and me thinking that our friendship was over, to the kiss (it was super hard to say that) on Instagram and me unofficially cutting them off. She told me that she got a new phone for Christmas and didn't have my number. I wondered why she didn't just ask Chad for it, or contact me via social media, but I didn't ask her. She told me that she wasn't on social media for the whole month of February and knew nothing about a kiss, and that she definitely didn't comment on anything. I asked her if Chad and Jennifer were dating and she said that she hadn't heard anything like that, and that the three of them went out on Valentine's day, not just Chad and Jennifer. She said that she must have been in the bathroom whenever the picture was taken and that neither Chad nor Jennifer told her anything about it. She told me that she and Chad have known Jennifer their whole lives because their Moms are best friends. She said that they all grew up together in Florida, and that Jennifer moved to Kansas because her Mom found a new job there. Jennifer's Mom had been looking for one so she could move closer to Mrs.Whitman. she's an only child and her Mom is a single parent, so it was fairly easy for them to move. She went on to tell me that Chad and Jennifer always sort of liked each other, since around 4th grade. She said that they never dated or anything, and as far as she knew they never told each other that they liked each other, but it was obvious to everyone. After Chad became a Christian they grew apart, because she wasn't and still isn't really saved, although her Mom became a Christian early last year. That was all that she told me, but it was and still is difficult for me to process. I was still confused about the whole kiss situation, and I hoped that Chad would explain, but I didn't know how I would talk to him. I didn't know if Emily and I were still friends, but I thanked her for telling me everything.

We went to eat dinner and I prepared myself to talk to Chad, even though it was just small talk. Whenever I saw his face my mind went back to the picture on Instagram. The one thing that I did not want to happen was for my parent's to find out, so I told Emily not to say anything to them, and I put on my biggest fake smile. I didn't get a chance to talk to Chad yesterday. Everyone ate dinner, watched a movie and then went to sleep. I just hoped that my parents didn't notice anything weird, I didn't want them to worry about me or to feel bad for bringing them because I knew that they were just trying to make me happy. I didn't really talk to Emily after we went to sleep, she was exhausted, and honestly, I didn't really want to talk to her.

I have no idea what happened with Chad and Jennifer and it's keeping me up. The movie ended three hours ago. I have so many questions. Why was the picture deleted? How come they aren't dating? Why would Chad come here after everything that happened? Does he even know that I saw the picture? Does he even like me anymore? I've been trying to sleep but these questions have been plaguing my mind. I'm definitely not going to get enough sleep tonight, and the fact that it's Daylight Savings makes it even worse. My hand is aching from writing this long entry, but I had to talk to You, I know that You're always here for me, and You always make me feel better. I'll talk to you later Jesus, I love you, Goodnight.

~Chloe E. Almond