Lustful Intentions

Chapter 6: Guilty..

Ryan's POV-

God why did I do that. I felt so bad, I shouldn't have yelled at her like that...I'll tell her what happened when it was time but for now she'll just have to be patient. I walked home, looking a that front door step it shot a painful memory through me. My mom, standing there smiling and offering me a drink after I came back in from playing outside. My dad smiling as he came home from work.  I growled and as I walked up to the door I punched it a tear rolling down my cheek and I yelled. "DAMMIT WHY DID YOU TWO LEAVE ME ALONE?!?!?!"  I sighed and walked inside, I sat on my couch. I looked at my arm and ran my thumb over a few deep scars on my wrist. All this pain, hatred, and suffering caused me to do this. My razor was my only true friend the only thing that kept me up when I was down, the sweet pleasuring pain it sent through my body when I slid it across my arm...and most of all the blood. It was sweet and so refreshing to feel on my tongue; oh how I loved it so. I sighed once more and I headed to my bedroom. looked like I was sleeping in again today. I turned off the lights in my room and I left the door a slight crack. I opened  the blinds just enough to let the light in and I stripped, fully naked exposing all of the burns, scars, bruises, cuts, gashes, and the other scars that were left behind. Years of self harm and bullying never got old for me until this year. I laid down on my bed and I just sat there and ran my finger over my toned body, I traced all the lines of my muscle from my arms o my chest and stomach. I sighed and I looked up at the ceiling just listening to the clock in my room tick...tick...tick and I fell asleep. I didn't dream at all, my sleep state was blank as most days...nothing but darkness...just black and nothing there. I began to snore softly in my sleep. Tossing and turning a bit in a deep sleep. I sighed and breathed heavily in my sleep. One hand rested on my stomach, and the other on the inside of my thigh. They moved around a bit as I moved around in my sleep, then suddenly....I stopped moving and I just laid there still and breathing slowly as I slept. God why cant she be with me, in my bed asleep with me...I missed her...I wanted her here but I knew it would most likely never happen....I also thought back to earlier about me yelling....Smooth move genius.

Miranda POV

I couldn't take it anymore. I had to know why he was like the way hewas yesterday. I walked to his house. Yes i knew where he lived.His front door was unlocked? That's strange. I walked upstairs to his room. I saw him asleep. Then he started to scream in his sleep. I ran to him and shook him so he could wake up. "RYAN WAKE UP!!!!!!" I yelled. He shot up and looked right at me. "Miranda what are you doing here?'' he asked me. "Ryan your body..what happened.." He just broke down. "I CAN'T HANDLE THIS PAIN ANYMORE IT'S TOO MUCH! I NEED SOMEONE TO TELL ME EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY!'' Hearing him cry like this broke my heart. I gently grabbed his hand and i looked deeply in his crystal blue eyes, "I'm here for you". The moment i said those 4 words his expression changed into a smile. A real smile. "So why did you act the way you acted yesterday?'' I asked him. His smile started to fade."I was angry..I saw everything..him kissing your neck..kissing your lips..and running his filthy hands up and down your body..him hurting you..and it triggered something inside me..all i could see was red..so i followed him..we fought..then I.." He stopped "Ryan you what?" He looked at me. "I killed him." I just sat there speechless. He murdered Collin? Not that i care but shit. "Why did you kill him..?'' He looked at me gently rubbing his thumb against my cheek looking deeply in my eyes. His lips almost touching mine. "I hated the fact that he touched my girl.." he said softly. I couldn't control myself i pressed my lips against his without no warning. His lips against mine felt so perfect..God What are you doing to me?..