Dear No One

Fifteen.

Dear No One,

I wonder how you are now. Sure, you might seem fine on the outside, but what about deep down? Do you miss me? Did you ever miss me? Thoughts like these consume me every night. I can't help myself. I'm always worrying about your wellbeing, hoping you're always smiling. Your smile always made me feel warm inside. But now that I no longer get to see it the way I used to, I've slowly learned to live on my own. I've managed myself. Every day, I learn how to live without you and anything that has to do with you. It's hurting, I'll admit, but that pain is painstakingly becoming less and less powerful. What used to be a stab is learning to become a prick. I admit, I never imagined I'd ever make it here. It's almost as if it were a neutral territory. I'm not happy, yet I'm not sad. I'll have sad moments, but then I'll have happy ones too. The happy ones aren't as strong as the sad, but they're fighting against them. That's where I am. I've found a bit of happiness, but it isn't quite enough to balance out the sadness. But at least I'm slowly learning to live with the facts. This heavy heart is learning to fly again. It's trying.

- Wanderer ❖