Inside My Head

Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Carly's Dream

I feel the alcohol pumping through my veins. I pull my sleeves down a little further. I don't want anyone to see the bruises he left me with again last night.

"Baaae," I hear Trevor slur. I try my best to escape from him. Once he gets a little alcohol in his system all bets are off. He was upset earlier because I didn't wear the dress he bought for me. It was black and spandex barely long enough to cover my butt cheeks. I was unable to escape him in time. I felt a warm hand upon my bum.

I turn around quickly to see Seth standing there looking smug. "Whoops!" he exclamaims and then stumbles off to his girlfriend.

I hate who he's become since the start of freshmen year. We used to be best friends and then he hit puberty, became a chick magnet, and a douchebag all within the same year.

Here comes Trevor. I re-adjust my hair and fake a smile. If I can just get paid for this last job then I can be done with him. That's what I'm here for right? Things begin to blur and I feel myself getting tugged lightly into a dark room by a familiar face. I can't seem to remember. I feel so bad that I'm doing this just to get back at Taylor.

-----End of Dream/Flashback----------

I wake up in a cold sweat. This is too much for me to handle all at once. I thought those summer classes helped me end all of this. The feelings. The memories. I face palm myself for being so ridiculous. Of course I can't be done with this. It's Trevor. I feel my throat scratchy from screaming again. I thought I was done with these dreams. I am done with this. I hope. I really must be. I can't trust myself to be home alone. I can't. I need someone. Dean? I guess he's going to have to suffice.

I don't want Elisa do be upset with me. I won't call him. Will I? I can't call him. I won't. I've decided I know I can handle myself. I can do this.

I go down stairs and fix myself some breakfast. To my surprise my father's already awake and drinking his morning cup of coffee. I make a bowl of cereal, exchange formalities with my father, and to both of our surprise give him a hug. Things haven't been the same with us since my mother divorced him after my unfortunate series of events.

As I place my plate in the sink my father clears his throat.

"I will be going golfing later today with my co workers to discuss some business plans. Lucy should be in later today to mop the floors and pick up groceries. Be sure to leave her a list if anything you may need," he states as he picks up his mug and places it in the sink.

"Okay," I respond as I watch his tall figure exit the kitchen. I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding and check the time. 10:30 It's just late enough for me to call Dean and sort out this entire ordeal. I dial his number and anxiously await the sound of his deep familiar voice. I wait and wait and continue to hear the dial tone. The phone clicks and I feel a flicker of hope, but it is instantly crushed when I hear the monotone voice informing me that I can leave a message after the beep.

To distract myself from a mental meltdown I make some snacks. Caramel popcorn, and cookies, luckily I did not have to make any of the food myself. I just poured the popcorn into the bowl and moved the cookies from the package onto a decorative plate. Just as I found myself beginning to day dream I heard a knock at the door. Ah! Lucy's finally here.

"Lucy!" I say cheerily as I open the door.

"Hey," Dean responds much more casually as I stand in awe at his presence.

"What are you doing here?" I respond just on the edge of rude.

"After last night I couldn't sleep," he sleepily admits. "I thought I had missed you"

As we walk to the living room I sense Dean's apprehension towards me. As we sit down on the couch I say, "What?"

"You know I won't judge you no matter what, right?"

I know he knows something is wrong. I can't tell him. I can not. It would put him in danger of Trevor and I can not do that to him again. He puts his hand on my leg sympathetically and I feel myself tearing up. I quickly excuse myself to the bathroom.

As I look in the mirror I begin to question if I am good enough. I didn't eat that much today. I only had a bowl a cereal. I'm doing better. I have to calm down. I must. Or else it will happen again. I check the mirror again an wet my face with some cold water to attempt to calm down. I bring my hand up to my hair to attempt to smooth it down and notice how shaky my hands are.

I somehow manage to sit through a decent conversation with Dean without having another mini meltdown. As he stands to leave I notice how he inspects my arms. I reassure him that things aren't like they were before.

"I promise. I'd tell you if I wasn't okay." I lie through my teeth and fake a smile. Dean notices and places a warm hand on my arm once again.

"I can stay over if you'd like. Tell my Elisa that I'm with Seth." I shake my head. That's exactly what I do NOT want happening. I thank Dean once again for taking my mind of things. I wave as he backs out of my drive way and an slightly startled when I feel my phone vibrate.

From Unknown: *I thought he'd never leave.*

I quickly slip back inside the front door and turn the dead bolt. I slide down the face of the door and hope to God that my dad's weekly golf trip will be rained out.

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I wake from an incessant beeping on my bedside table. I don't even remember going up to my room.

Tay: Dean said you weren't feeling well. Want me to come over?

I politely decline Taylor's offer and decide to take a bike ride. That will help keep me skinny. And keep my mind of the situation at hand. Perfect.

As I begin riding I begin to forget the problems at hand. They fade away. I feel almost high. You know that feeling so well don't you. The voice in my head reminds me. I have to stop at the lamp post because I'm winded and haven't eaten since I woke up. I decide that I've exercised enough and that things are heading the right direction so I head home.

But I don't quite make it all the way.

A/N: Hey guys! So obviously this was not uploaded Thanksgiving week, but I tried! Feedback is always great, and I hope your Thanksgiving break was amazing if you live in America. Thanks again for reading(: