Inside My Head

Chapter 7

Chapter 7

He arrives sooner than anticipated. I am barely able to cut off my alarm and find some pants to put on before I hear him honking his horn. Somehow he always comes just as my father turns off our street. I run quickly to the bathroom to relieve myself and then wash my face. I hope the weather is warm, but I'm dressed for fall with my jeans and sneakers. I check the mirror one last time before heading outside to greet Trevor. I hear him honk his horn once more as I open my front door.

Trevor greets me with a sloppy kiss as I slip into the car. He looks angrier than usual when our heads separate.

"I'm not hungry," I mumble as quietly as possible. I don't want him to take his anger out on me.

"We aren't going to eat anyway" he snaps quickly back at me. I wish he would look at me. He seems upset. I am not sure if I did anything or if maybe things aren't going well at home. I hope that I am not the reason for his upset. I love him dearly. I sigh lightly and turn my head to look out the window Trevor's hand reaches across the center console to my thigh. I smile a little at the small gesture. I'm so happy he is not mad.

___________

It's noon now and he takes me to the park near his house. I feel myself getting sicker and sicker as we near the pond. This is where it happened last year. I thought we were in a different place. I take a deep breath.

We walk slowly as to take our time. I am so hungry, but it is worth my new body to not eat. I find myself wondering about Dean and Elisa. I hope that everything with them is okay. I know that he wanted me to talk to him but I blew it off.

I'm dizzy, so dizzy.

My hand slowly slips from Trevor's but I feel his strong arm steady me as we walk even closer to the pond. Somehow I do not remember the walk taking this long. He is such a wonderful person to take me back here. My mind is slipping. I feel myself forgetting to breathe occasionally. Hopefully Trevor will let me eat soon. I stop to take a breath and take in the scenery. Trevor walks ahead of me closer and closer to the water. His body gets distorted but I make a mental note to focus.

Focus on the movement of his arms, legs, the way he picks up his feet. I hope to God that this dizziness fades. I take yet another deep breath and call his name. Trevor turns around to look at me. He smiles slightly and that makes my heart melt a little in my chest. I'm so happy he convinced me to ditch school today.

"Hey," I slur in his direction. I close my eyes to get my bearings. I hope things work out. I'm so confused what I am talking about. I hear something. It's getting really close.

"C, are you okay? You don't seem like yourself," It's Trevor, that's who's talking to me. I feel him, his presence.

"I'm fine," I hear myself answer to quickly. He's going to know. But wait, he smiles and accepts my pathetic excuse. I'm so happy he's not worrying about me. I sit down against the tree and motion for Trevor to enjoy the pond.

He turns around slowly and lights up a joint. I scout out our surroundings and hope that no one sees us. If my dad finds out I've been dealing with Trevor again it will be the end of all things interesting.

At four o'clock exactly I get a phone call from Dean. I decline the call. He calls again and I deny the phone call once again. I hope he will catch a hint and let me enjoy my time with Trevor. We head to my house. I'm so hungry, and I'm so tired.

"We're going to a party tonight. You will be ready at nine," Trevor barks at me just before I close the door to his truck. I nod and stumble up the front steps to my house. I can't go to the party. Not after the incident over the summer. I can't.

_____________

It's nine o'clock and I hear his truck rumbling outside. My dad is asleep on the couch when I head down stairs. I kiss his fore head and wipe a stray tear from my cheek. I hope history doesn't repeat itself.

Before I can head outside I get a text from Dean.

she left me, for him.  

I feel so bad about all of this. I didn't mean for this to happen. I did it. I am the one. I call him back but reach his voice mail. I start crying.

I've been crying for a while now and I know how mad Trevor will be when I get in the car. I pull my sorry self off of the ground and  go outside.

_____________

As if on cue it begins raining.

He slaps me hard on the face when I get in the car. I apologize for being late to which he laughs at. He roughly grabs my thigh and pulls me on his lap. He makes me repay him for being late. We arrive at the party shortly after. It smells of alcohol and dirty teenagers. I take a deep breath and a plethora of memories comes flooding back.

(Memory Lane)

The music is so loud I can barely hear myself think. I take yet another sip of the nasty beer Trevor gave me. She's going to be so mad when she finds out what I'm doing. I wish she was here to celebrate with me. I spot Trevor and wave him over. I position myself right infront of him bend down slightly and begin moving my hips rhythmically to the beat. He places a warm hand on my hip and I smile slightly to myself.

We dance for what feels like ages occasionally he turns me around and we kiss. It feels so good to be in his embrace. He is so warm and inviting. I feel like maybe they were right, but I don't think so. I continue dancing until I receive a phone call. I head outside to answer it.

"Hey, where did you go? We won't be able to cover for you all night," he loudly whispers into the receiver. I'm happy the agreed to cover for me at all. I've been so bad to them this entire year. I feel like maybe I am the reason that she started down this awful path. I brush these clouding thoughts from my mind as I try to answer him before he hangs up. I open my mouth to reply but not before I hear..

"Babe!"  Trevor slurs from his dirty mouth as he shoves away an innocent bystander.

"I'll only be a while longer," I say before quickly hanging up. I don't want anyone to see me talking and get the wrong idea. I am not cheating on Trevor. I don't want him to hurt me. I smile and do a quick once over in my compact. As I head into the party I hear someone calling my name. I act like I can't hear them and head up the front stairs back into the party. Back to Trevor.

I get called back to reality with a rough slap on the ass. Things are beginning just like last time.

A/N: Well, how do you like it? its been a while since I last updated but as you know school comes first. As always feedback is awesome and so is VOTING! (: thanks again