Inside My Head

Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Conversation between us has always been so easy.

Why now does it have to be so difficult. I remember us laughing at and with each other for hours as kids. As kids.

Is that the only thing that's different now? The fact that we grew a little taller, and quit going to summer camp, and stopped asking Mommy to kiss our scrapes? I feel like things are so different now. So hard.

"Hey," he finally speaks waking me from my daze.

"Do you remember when we used to swim in the lake behind your house and try and catch fish when it was hotter than hell outside?"

He smiles, and it looks real. His eyes look so happy, so hopeful. He begins laughing. Is he laughing at my question? Maybe he didn't think it was as much fun as I did. "Yeah...and you would always.." He erupts into laughter once more. "I'm sorry," he begins again. "I was just remembering that time you swore you saw a kangaroo unicorn baby and wanted to bring it...a..." Laughing.

I stand up to go into the kitchen and he stops. "I'm sorry, it's just you said you wanted to bring it cotton candy so it would be more sparkly"

I smile at that memory. That was the same day we first kissed. Dean knows me so well. I have to trust him. But I can't. Trevor and I agreed to be monogamous. It's too bad he makes me so emotionally unstable.

I faintly hear Dean talking about the other times we spent behind his house, and all the memories. "Dean, we can't; I made a mistake inviting you in" I stand to escort him outside. I notice the glint of hope in his eyes I saw earlier has since faded to a dull brown. I feel so bad. But all of this is too much.

"Well you'll call me if you don't feel well, right?" He says hopefully. I can't help but feel like the bad guy in this situation. He just wanted to talk, but talking leads to trusting and Trevor wouldn't want me to do that.

After I escort Dean out I lay on the couch. I'm so tired. I lay and look up at the ceiling fan the soft lull of the fan blades puts me to sleep instantly.

I wake to my phone buzzing on my bedside table. It's four in the afternoon. Who is this? It's Trevor.

I subconsciously fix my hair as if he is walking in my room and find myself sitting a little taller in my bed. I finally answer.

"Trevor,"

"Carly" he hastily replies. I hope he's not mad at me. I don't think I messed up, did I?

"What are you doing?"

"I'm laying in bed, I just got up," I say.

"I'm coming over soon,"

"Okay, are we staying in?" I'm so happy he wants to come over. He is the reason I breathe. I don't know why I ever thought not being with him would be beneficial.

"No, be ready in fifteen"

I'm so happy he's taking me out. Maybe it will be a party. I go downstairs to get a glass of water and run into my father.

"You're home,"

"Yes, and you're up," he responds snippily

"I will be going out later,"

He looks up from his business papers. "With whom, if I may ask?"

"You may not" I pat his back and assure him that I'll be home before curfew.

I head upstairs to get ready for my date with Trevor. I get a text from him a short while later alerting me that he's here. I head downstairs past my father who is in the living room and get into Trevor's car.

He smells of alcohol and I instantly regret my idea to not tell anyone who I'm with. I fake a smile and look at him.

"Hey," I say

"Why didn't you wear the dress I got for you?" He firmly replies. I feel an overwhelming sense of de ja vu.

A/N: So I changed things up a little this chapter. More dialogue less of Carly's thoughts. Tell me if you like that. Please. As always feedback is great and thanks for reading!! (: