Cancer

19. Ohana

"I called Joey, and told him you are awake." Gerard admits as him and me sit outside in the fresh air. He is smoking, I'm not. He sits a few meters away from me, so I don't breathe in the smoke. "He wants to visit you." He says blowing out the smoke from his cancer stick. "He left me." I say with no facial expression. "He's your brother." Gerard explains sternly. "HE left ME." I repeat myself, with more pressure. "You are my dad. Lyn-z is my mom. Bandit is my sister. Mikey and Ray are my uncles. Frank is my boyfriend. But Joey is no longer my brother. We may be blood-bound, but we are not family. He ended it, when he left me." I snap. Gerard nods understanding. "If you say so." He ashes out his cigarette and throws it away. "You coming?" He asks smiling. I nod and walk with him inside.

"You haven't touched your food." Mikey says, caring. I look up, meeting his eyes. "No, I am not hungry." I admit. I haven't eaten in days because of the "being-gone"-thing, but I'm full. If I eat now, I'm going to throw up, oh wait, I will anyways. I poke the pizza on my plate. The hot cheese looks like it's breathing, bubbling up and down. I poke the bubbles and let the cheese die. "Wait for me?" I ask it, even though I am talking to nobody else than pizza cheese. My sight falls down, glancing at the now running cheese on my plate. There's so much cheese. It holds together, like a family. My family. I'm happy here, not with my brother who leaves me, when he wants to. Dude, I am dead soon, and he runs off with his boyfriend when he finds out. I push the plate away from me, and hand out for Sir. William. I avoid the eyes on me, as I leave the dining room. I head outside, just wanting to be alone. Gerard stands up to follow me, but Lyn-z grabs his arm, shaking her head. He sits down again. Thank you, mom. I think to her but do not say anything.

I sit on a cold plastic chair outside the house, on the porch with a blanket around me. I feel a breeze stroking along my face. I smell the fresh autumn air, closing my eyes. I wiggle the blanket even more around me, and I get to half lie down. I look up at the stars in the night sky. I don't see the brightest. I think about Trevor. Then Shane. He stopped caring as well. Now we're just strangers. And I am fine by that. I just don't want be forgotten.
"Ohana means family. Family means, that nobody gets left behind or forgotten." Bandit says suddenly. I turn away to see the little girl holding Destiny in her arms. She looks up at me. I look behind her, it's only her.
"I found him, I hope it's okay, I borrowed him when you were gone." She tells me, hopping up in the chair beside me. She hugs him close into her tiny body. She smiles at him. I nod, as an okay. Bandit turns her head back up looking at me. "You will always be my sister." I hear her say. It makes me smile. "When you leave, I'll watch out for mom and dad, and when you come back as a ghost." She gasps loudly, grinning happily. "We will be ghost-sisters! And we will live happily ever after as ghost-buddies." She adds smiling. I smile with her. "You really think so?" I ask her. "Yeah! Totally!" She says and takes my hand, pulling me up to stand. "Now come with me inside and make us hot chocolate!" She cheers and holds my hand tight as we walk into the kitchen.
"There you go!" I say as I put extra cream in her hot chocolate. "Thanks, Lou!" She smiles bright looking at me. I hold up my cup with extra cream as well. She does the same. "Cheers, ghost-buddy!" I wink at the little human in front of me. "Ghost-bodies forever!" She hits her mug against mine, and we enjoy the hot chocolate. I watch her gulp through her mug, cream coming everywhere in her face. I giggle at her and wipe it away with my fingers. I lick off the cream of my fingers and smirk. She giggles and lick some of the cream on her cheek. "Bandit!" Gerard calls from the living room. It sounds like, he's coming closer. I look down at the smirking Bandit. "Shh! Dad's coming! I don't wanna go to bed! Hide me!" She whisper shrieking. I pull her carefully in the little room under the island we're standing at, giving her the sign to stay quiet. "Bandit?" Gerard asks and faces me in the kitchen. He smiles weak. "Are you okay?" I nod, smiling. I can't stop thinking about hiding my little sister from our dad, so she doesn't have to go to bed. "Yeah, I just needed a moment." I say sipping my hot drink carefully. He nods looking around frowning. "Have you seen Bandit?" He asks suspicious. I shake my head smiling stiff. "Nope, haven't seen her." My head gets warm, and I feel myself blush. Damn! I'm so bad at lying. He shrugs turning his side to me, watching around again. "You sure?" He squeezes his eyes together. "Totally!" I almost yell. I'm so bad at this. Gerard nods leaving the room. "Is he gone?" I hear a tiny voice. "Yeah." I breathe. Bandit crawls out of her hiding spot and giggles. "Come on." I smile at her, as we tiptoe through the house, without getting caught.