|lies| girlxgirl

x13x

jenna-is-alive: Tay? I know you blocked me on kik but i'm sorry and I can explain

Jenna

I dialed Tay's number on my phone, my hands practically shaking out of terror. I was on the borderline of loosing her, I really was. But it was all caleb, I swear. Sometimes he could be so cruel, sometimes he made me want to kill myself. Tay didn't answer for three rings, but on the fifth one, was when I heard her soothing voice that made everything better. I raked a hand though my hair out of anxiety as I paced my bathroom.

"H-hi.." Tay spoke, her voice so soft. Broken.

"Tay-"

"Why did you say those things to me over text, Jenna? Just..i want to know. If you don't want to be with me anymore I understand but what you said..oh god what you said..i cried for a week. You didn't talk to me for a week, Jenna...you had me so...it'd okay if you don't want me anymore I-"

"Tay-"

"No." she sounded hurt, and her voice trembled, "you fucking listen to me," she started. The tone in her voice scared me, she was clearly pissed off, "you don't fucking do that to people! You called me a piece of shit? Was this some type of sick joke for your amusements, Jenna? Am I just this toy for you to play with? I'm so fucking mad I don't know what to do with myself I love you, I-"

Tay suddenly cut herself off, and the only thing I could hear from the other line was her shaky breathing. I gazed at the floor, my eyes wide. A sense of shock and adoration went through me when I heard her say those words. My heart was beating rapidly, and I licked my fry lips. But only if she knew. Only if she knew how many times her name went through my head in a single day, or how many times I've ever thought about kissing her and making her feel pleasure. How many times I've wanted to hold her so tight that maybe all her broken parts would fit together perfectly.

I breathed slowly, "I don't love you," I said, "i'm in love with you, Tay."

She didn't respond, but she didn't hang up either.

I told her, "it's Caleb, okay? He's abusive..and everytime I try and break things off he resorts to hitting me. Babe, I would never ever do anything to hurt you, okay? You're just so important to me and he stole my phone because he heard the notification and it's just...it's a mess, okay? And I..i'm really sorry. I don't know what he said because he deleted everything-"

"I fucking hate him. I hate Caleb." Tay seethed, "i'm sorry I raged on you like that.." she trailed off, sounding a bit guilty.

I chuckled, although nothing was funny, "it's okay."

"No it's not. I got mad at you for no reason."

"Tay, it's fine-"

"I want to see you," she blurted out, "like in real life. I-I want you to hold me at night, a-and I want to kiss you and I want us to be here for each other and i want..i want you, Jenna.." Tay spoke, her voice soft and like someone slipping over the surface of frozen ice.

I sunk down on my bed, looking out my window, staring at darkness, "me, too."

She giggled, but it was quietly. I don't think i was supposed to hear it, "what would you do if i were there, sitting beside you?" Tay asked.

I yawned, "phone sex? Really, Taylor?" I laughed.

"Oooh, you used my first name. I'm triggered."

I rolled my eyes with a smile, "oh, shut up."

"Make me."

I sighed with a smirk, "if I could i would.."

"Maybe you can." Spoke Tay, "i'm only seventeen..warped tour is next week for California. I could drive down there, just to see you.'

I was suddenly excited, and i sat up straighter, "you know..that could actually work."

I then heard someone screaming coming from the other line. I furrowed my eyebrows, "who's that?"

"Nothing, nothing..um..i gotta go but talk to you later."

I chuckled, "love you." i said, as i hung up the phone.