Moment of Reflection

Chapter 17

I paced back and forth, hoping he wouldn't show up.

Ben always worked on Sundays, he worked from 10 to 6. So he would only come by after work.

As six o'clock approached, my anxiety grew.

Just tell him no. You thought about it and this is what you want. If he truly loves you he would stop what he is doing. Dad and my mother would get into arguments, but it would never get physical. And neither should Ben.

I looked at the clock as my mind raced, and my hands shook. I created a game plan inside my head. I had my bat from when I played softball hidden around the corner in the living room behind the plant. I planned on making sure he wouldn't bring the issues in there, so if a problem were to arise, I can grab the bat for self defense.

I thought about all of the different scenarios that could happen along with the responses I would give.

This is for me. It's not you, it's me. I'm doing this for me. I'm not ready for a relationship.

Glancing at the clock I knew he would be here any minute. So I began to calm myself, put on my Daisy mask, and keep my mind straight. I kept a positive outlook that this would go well, though my anxiety was causing my stomach to say otherwise.

I heard a car pull into the driveway and my heart hammered in my chest.

"Daisy!" I heard Ben proclaim as he entered the house.

"Yes?"

"Well good. I knew you'd be waiting for me." He said, coming around the corner from the side entrance, his usual smile plastered on his face.

I swallowed nervously, putting on a smile as if nothing was wrong.

"Would you like a- uh- something to drink?" I offered, trying to be as normal as possible.

"Of course. Now why didn't you have them ready to begin with?"

"Sorry, I didn't think you would have wanted one." I said, opening the fridge.

"So what do you have."

"Ummm," I said, scanning the contents of the fridge, "unless you want juice or milk there's nothing in here." I said, lying about the beer hidden in the bottom of the fridge, still left from when my father was around.

"Let me see." He said, coming up behind me, pressing himself against my back.

I held my breath, hoping he wouldn't see the cans in the bottom. "Now what do we have here?" He said, pushing his way through.

Shit

"Why didn't you say that you had this?" He said, lifting a can out, "Why. Did. You. Lie to me?"

"Th- that's my dad's." I said, hoping he would understand and put it back.

"Yeah, as if he's going to come back from the dead to drink it." He scoffed, backing out and shutting the door with the cold can in hand.

I decided I wouldn't have anything to drink at that point since I wasn't thirsty. I had a feeling this was going to take longer than I had anticipated.

***

"I told you, this is for me. It's not because of you. I- I'm not ready for this yet." I said, backing up a bit from his intimidating appearance.

"You liar." He said, lunging forward at me.

He grabbed my neck and slammed me against the wall, the plant just inches away from my reach.

His face came close to mine, his hands gripping my throat, causing pressure to build up in my head.

I tuned out everything he was saying, focusing on reaching for my bat. I tried to not stand on my legs, leaving his hands to hold me up so maybe I would end up moving down just enough. I felt his grip tightened, constricting both air and blood flow to my head and lungs.