BlurryFace (Joshler 1/3)

Fourteen||G o n e r

A/N: PLAY GONER ^^ABOVE WHEN I TELL YOU TO!! DONT PLAY IT YET! BUT PLAY IT WHEN IT TELLS YOU TO BECAUSE IT GIVES SO MUCH MORE EMOTION TO THE STORY! You can also pull up goner-the version on YouTube with the accordion- on another device or Spotify just so you don't have to scroll up and lose your place!

It's been six days since Josh has gone missing, which means tomorrow I leave for The Council. My mom has to keep checking on me because she's afraid I'll jump out of the window. Even my dad has been keeping an eye on me, even Zach and Madison has noticed a change in something.

During dinners, I can tell my parents try their best to avoid the big elephant in the room, but with each night I feel as if it's getting harder and harder to not address.

"Tyler...I haven't seen you touch your plate at all." My mother meant well, I know she did, but after everything that happened that night, I couldn't help but see her differently. "He hasn't ate for the past few nights." Muttered out dad, shoving a piece of food in his mouth as he avoided eye contact. At least someone's been paying attention.

  "Ty, do you hate moms cooking?" Asked Madison, giggling to herself as she pointed towards my plate. Sighing, I shake my head. I wish that was the reason, it'd be much better to explain. "Tyler please eat." Mom pleaded, pointing her fork towards me.

I sat in the chair slugged down with my shoulders down, possibly in the worst posture I could be in. My head felt as if it was too heavy to even stay connected to my neck. My arms felt too tired to even pick up the utensils to poke them into the pieces of food.

"I'm not hungry." I mumble, staring down at the plate of food. No matter how much I needed it, I couldn't eat anything without immediately feeling sick. It's like as soon as I gave up my fight I decided to give up everything else needed to live.

"Listen, if this is about The Council, we thought that'd be the best decision for you." I could hear the genuine feeling in her tone of voice, almost like she was pleading for me to understand. "I know. It really is the best decision." I mumble.

As soon as I said that I knew my parents were both looking at each other with the most concerned looks on their face. "Tyler's leaving?" Asked Zach, a pout forming on his face as he looked near to bursting into tears.

"Only to get better." Our dad spoke in the softest tone yet. I've never heard him speak that low or calm, there even seemed to be no sarcasm. It surprised me, scared me even. He was probably just doing that for Zach and Madison.

"B-but we can help him get better! You can give him soup and medicine!" Whined Madison, crossing her arms as she dropped her frozen themed fork. I watched to see how my parents could explain this to her. I'd like to see them try to explain that I was simply a failure and needed transitioning to become normal.

  "I'm afraid our medicine won't help him." She said, almost in a whisper. I looked back down at the ground, waiting for this dinner to be finally over so I could leave.

"Then what's wrong with him!?" Madison grew louder. I could just hear how upset she was over this entire thing. "Madison." I sigh, rubbing over the stress lines on my forehead with my thumb.

"No! You're leaving us!" I could see as her small eyes began to water as her lip did that thing where it quivered whenever she was about to cry or was crying. Not being able to bare the sight, I look down, twiddling wth my thumbs under the table.