Always is never enough

Chapter 6

(Camila’s pov)

Normani was on her knees her back pressed against the cabinet beneath the sink, with Ally sitting in her lap, Normani’s right hand was on the back of Ally’s hand pulling her closer to her, and her left hand was rubbing circles on the smaller girls back. Ally’s left hand had a firm grip on Normani’s neck while her right one disappeared beneath Mani’s shirt, firmly squeezing her breast. This was definitely not what I expected to see, I could hear a moan escape Ally’s mouth and they separated and that was when Normani noticed me, I was still standing agape in the door opening. Normani quickly pushed Ally of and stood up straight she was red as a tomato, Ally was sitting on the floor fidgeting with her fingers. ‘Sorry Mila’ Normani apologised, I let out a small laugh which caused Ally and Normani to look at me questioningly. ‘It’s ok’ I said a wide grin spreading across my face ‘I have nothing against it you know’ I heard them sigh in relieve, but then it hit me ‘what about Arin and Troy’ I asked curious, they looked at each other uncertain ‘I guess we’ll have to figure that out later’ Normani said. ‘What’s everyone doing in the bathroom’ I heard Lauren ask from behind me, Normani and Ally quickly acted as if nothing was going on, frightened of anyone else besides me finding out ‘I was braiding her hair’ Normani quickly made up an excused and with that she walked out of the bathroom pulling Ally along with her. ‘What was that about?’ Lauren asked me confused, I let out a small laugh ‘hair’ I said before walking out of the bathroom.

When we entered the kitchen again Ally and Normani were sitting awkwardly next to each other, telling Dinah the same lie about braiding their hair. I walked around the table behind Dinah and winked at them, Ally turned bright red and looked down, I took a seat next to Dinah while Lauren.

Lauren took a seat next to me while putting a plate of pancakes in front of me and patting my knee under the table. I slowly grabbed my cutlery and took the smallest bite possible.

I was halfway with my first pancake while the rest of the girls apparently already finished their second or third. I was about to take a bite when Dinah turned to me ‘Dawg don’t you like pancakes’ she asked ‘your slow as hell’ she said jokingly, I smiled nervously at her and laid my cutlery back on the table, ‘I’m sorry, I have to go to the bathroom’ I quickly said with a nervous smile, before making my way to the stairs, I quickly glanced behind me to see Lauren sitting there with a disappointed look on her face, I tried to ignore it as I ran up the stairs into the bathroom, I locked the door and slid down to the floor with my back pressed against the door. ‘I have to get it out of me, I need to purge, I don’t want to get fat again, I don’t want to disappoint Lauren’ all these thoughts were spinning around in my head. ‘come on Camila, just do it, Lauren will forgive you, you don’t want to get bullied again do you? Just throw up you wuss’ I was giving me a headache, I pressed the palm of my hands against my temple, trying to make the voices stop. I crawled towards to toilet and grabbed the seat, I was on the verge of sticking my fingers down my throat when I heard Lauren’s soft voice ‘Camzi?’ she asked ‘Are you in here’ I saw the door knob turning but it wouldn’t open because of the lock, I didn’t respond and bend further over the toilet ‘Camz please open the door’ I heard her ask ‘don’t back down now, she will forgive you, come on just do it, one more time’ I tried to ignore the voices in my head and released my grip on the toilet seat ‘You wuss, always backing down the last minute, just stick your damn finger down your throat already’ ‘SHUT UP!’ I screamed and started crying, ‘Camzi what’s happening please open the door’ I hear a worried Lauren ask. I crawled to the door crying and unlocked the door, Lauren slowly opened the door and crouched next to me, she wrapped my arms around me and hugged me tight ‘I didn’t do it Lolo’ I said ‘I didn’t do it’ she stroked my hair and said ‘I know Camzi, and I’m proud of you’ she let go of me and gave me a proud smile, ‘I told you we would get through it’ she said in a proud tone ‘What stopped you?’ she asked after a pause’ I wiped my tears with the sleeve of my shirt ‘You’ I said while wrapping my arms around her neck and she cradled me in her lap. I felt Lauren’s phone buzz and I let go of her and she pulled her phone out of her pocket.

‘What’s wrong?’ It was a text from Ally.

She looked at me with a scared expression on her face ‘what will we tell the other girls?’ she asked me ‘They’re getting really suspicious you know’ she continued ‘Dinah has asked me several times already why you have such trouble eating’ she finished, I rubbed my temples trying to think of something to tell the girls, but I couldn’t think of anything ‘I don’t want to lie, but I also don’t want to tell them..’ I said ‘why Camzi, you know you can trust them, it would be a whole lot easier if they knew, you were almost on the verge of purging a minute ago because of Dinah’ she told me in a soothing voice, ‘I can’t I will start crying..’ I paused for a moment ‘I don’t want them to see me like that, they will think I’m weak’ I told her truthfully ‘Crying doesn’t make you weak Camz, and the girls would never think something like that’ she told me trying to calm me down ‘I can tell it for you, if you want me to’ she asked/told me. I nodded my head ‘Thanks Lolo’

(Ally’s pov)

After Camila and Lauren went upstairs for god knows what reason, Normani went to the backyard to make a phone call, I was about to go after her when I heard her talking on the phone with someone ‘No, I just think we should break up’ I heard her say, is she breaking up with Arin?! I thought to myself ‘It’s just.. no.. I’m think I’m in love with someone else.. no of course not.. I feel like I’m leading you on and it feels bad’ I heard her say In love with someone else? Is she breaking up with Arin for me ‘of course I don’t want to ruin our friendship.. no.. ok thanks Arin.. yeah love you too’ and with that she hung up, I opened the door to the backyard and saw Normani leaning with her back against the wall and tears running down her cheeks, ‘I’m sorry Manibear’ I said ‘It wasn’t my intention to ruin thing between you and Arin when I kissed you’ I told her truthfully. She smiled at me and pulled me towards her and gave me a quick peck on the lips ‘I know Allycat, I wanted to break up with him’ She told me ‘But why?’ I asked her confused ‘Because I love you’ she said before pulling me towards her again and kissing me. After some time we pulled away gasping for air, ‘I love you to Manibear’ I said before hugging her. ‘Ally, Mani could you please come inside for a second we need to talk to you guys’ I heard Lauren call. Caught.

A/n hope you like it, chapter 6! i will update later today or tomorrow, feed back is always welcome!

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