Always is never enough

Chapter 9

‘Hey Camz’ I said smiling, she didn’t respond but she dragged me up the stairs by my arm, she went into one of the rooms and closed the door behind her ‘Sit Lolo’ she said slurring the words. I sat down on the bed as she told me to while she made her way towards me ‘Lo you know I love you right?’ she asked ‘Of course Camz, I love you to’ I said ‘but why were you talking to Keaton?’ she asked me with a pout ‘He asked me to dance’ I told her truthfully ‘But you can’t be with him, you have to be with me, I love you Lolo’ she said, I said there astonished, Camila loves me? No she isn’t thinking right, she’s drunk, wait does she know I’m bisexual how?!. I asked myself ‘Camila there’s nothing between me and Keaton, neither is there between us’ I told her ‘You’re drunk Camz’. She kicked of her heels, pushed me back a little on the bed and sat on my lap, she held my neck for support, ‘Camila what are you doing?’ I asked her uncomfortable, as much as I wanted to be with Camila this wasn’t the right way, she’s drunk, she’s not thinking straight. I tried to push her off, but she pushed me back on the bed, I was laying flat on the back while Camila sat on my hips, she let her hands travel from my hips, along my side to my boobs, ‘Camila stop’ I said ‘You don’t know what you’re doing, she didn’t respond, she just parted my legs and said with one leg between my thighs and the other one on the left side of my leg, she pushed her knee up against my private area and I let out a small moan, she bend forward and her hands disappeared underneath my back, I felt her zip open my dress but when her hand touched my butt and she was about to unzip it completely I tried to sit up without a success ‘Camila stop’ I pleaded, she didn’t hesitate for a minute before literally ripping my dress of my body, she threw it across the room and admired my body, ‘Camz please just stop you’re going to regret this’ I said ‘you don’t want your first to be in a smelly bedroom which you don’t even know who’s it is’ I told her, she just shook her head ‘I want you Lolo’ her eyes weren’t happy and shining anymore, they were full of hunger and her pupils were as big as they could be, it started to scare me a little. She forcefully squeezed my boobs and I pushed her away ‘Camz stop!’ she looked sad, rejected.. She pinned me to the bed and pressed her lips roughly against mine, ‘I want you Lolo’ she said ‘why don’t you see I love you’ she said before pressing her lips against mine again, I tried to pull away but she had me in a death grip, she poked her tongue hard against my lips, when I didn’t part them she pushed her knee up against my private area again and when I moved she quickly pushed her tongue into my mouth, I did my best not to kiss her back, this wasn’t the Camila I knew and it was scaring me what alcohol could do this sweet, innocent girl. She started to suck on my tongue, she released one of her hands and my arm was free to move again so I tried to push her back again with no success, I felt her now free hand tug at the waistline of my underwear. At once she released her grip on me and I thought she finally realised what she was doing, but she only pulled her top of and threw it in the same direction of my dress, she roughly pressed her lips against mine again but when I tried to push her away she pinned my arms above my head, ‘Camila please let me go’ I was on the verge of tears but she didn’t seem to care.  She pulled away for a moment and said barely understandable ‘Lolo see how wet I am for you’ she kicked her skirt of and moved one of my hands to cup her private area, ‘you feel that Lolo that’s all for you’ I tear rolled down my cheek ‘Camzi please’ I said in between sobs, she ignored it and forced her tongue into my mouth again, she tugged at the waistline of my shorts before slipping her hand into my underwear, she rubbed her fingers around my clit, I’m pretty sure I was supposed to enjoy it, but I didn’t, I hated every damn second of it. I was about to say something again but she let one of her fingers slip inside of me, I wanted to cry for help but I couldn’t do that to her, everyone would think she’s disgusting and she would be remember to this for the rest of the life while she didn’t even knew what she was doing, ‘Camzi plea..’ She slid a second finger inside of me, I let out a little cry, it hurt. She was moving her fingers so damn fast not even caring about hurting me and when she added a third finger I cried out in pain. I started to cry ‘No Camz please stop’ I cried over and over again, but she didn’t stop. The door flew open and I saw Dinah in the opening in the door, Camz didn’t even stop ‘Oh my god, I’m sorry I was looking for the bathroom’ Dinah apologised, Dinah was about to walk out ‘No please stop’ I cried again,  Dinah immediately turned around ‘Lo?’ she said, she apparently didn’t recognize me.

She quickly ran towards us and saw Camz ‘MILA?!’ She pulled her off of me and pushed her into the corner ‘WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?’ She screamed at her, Camila started to cry, and hugged her knees. I zipped my dress up grabbed my heels and ran out of the room, I heard Dinah calling after me but I kept running, as I made my way downstairs I got a few weird looks, my make up was all over my face and I was still crying, I ran outside and suddenly remembered that I put my car keys in Normani’s purse. I ran home on my bare feet, holding my heels in my hands.

As I got home I threw myself on my bed and started crying, replaying everything that happened that night in my head over and over again.