Always is never enough

Chapter 18

(Lauren’s pov)

I talked to her about what happened while she was in a coma, it was kind of hard telling her she missed Christmas and all the other holidays, but a smile crept on her face when I told her that I still had to give her my present even though it was February by now. When I finished she looked at me questioningly ‘h-ho.. how’ she let her head fall clearly embarrassed, but I gave her an encouraging pat on her knee, ‘how h-have.. y-y.. you b-b-been’ she managed to get out, I fixed my eyes on the ground not wanting to make eye contact, she put her hand on my knee and shot me a sympathetic look. ‘I would rather not talk about it right now, I just want to spend time with you, and catch up ok?’ I said embarrassed ‘and the girls are also coming over tonight so I don’t want to ruin the mood’ I continued ‘But I will tell you another time when we are all alone’ I said and she nodded understanding. We continued our conversation about everything that happened, and I showed her some pictures we took and one from her in the hospital.

Around dinnertime Sinuhe walked into the living room, I excused myself from my conversation with Camila and walked up to her mom ‘Sinuhe, do you think Camila has to repeat her sophomore year?’ I asked, ‘Depends, she was a straight A student in her freshman year and also the beginning of this year, if she can catch up I don’t think it’s necessary but it’s a lot to catch up you know’ She said and I shot her a sympathetic smile ‘thank you’ I said before walking back to Camila.

I stayed over for dinner at Camila’s place and we were up in her room waiting for the girls to arrive, her father lifted her upstairs and left the wheel chair downstairs so he putted her on her bed. I was about to ask her if she could hear everything I told her when she was in a coma but Ally, Dinah and Normani entered the room. When Dinah walked towards I saw something I didn’t notice before, Ally and Normani were holding hands. I smirked at them ‘Did we miss something?’ Camila looked at me confused but a smile formed on her lips when she saw their hands ‘Yeah! Those dawgs have been dating for 5 months and didn’t tell us anything!’ Dinah said while throwing her arms up in fake frustration. Camila let out a loud laugh and we looked at her questioning, she tapped her index finger twice against her temple and pointed at Ally and Normani. None of us understood what she meant and she sighed, she pointed to her desk and Dinah grabbed a pen and a notebook and handed it to Camila she scribbled something on the page and held it up “I knew it!” she wrote with some badly drawn hearts. ‘So you guys don’t mind?’ Ally asked unsure ‘of course not’ Me and Dinah said in unison.

While we were watching Finding Nemo, Ally shot me a look and she patted the space next to her. I climbed of the bed and kneeled down next to her. ‘Did you tell Mila?’ She whispered in my ear, I fixed my eyes on the ground in embarrassment ‘I couldn’t’ I whispered back. She sighed and shot me a sympathetic look. I sat back on the bed next to Camila, who gave me a questioning look, I didn’t reply and just smiled at her and returned my attention to the movie.

Halfway through the movie Camila grabbed the notebook again “Drinks?” Camila wrote down and held it up with a smile. That’s when I remembered her eating disorder.. I wonder if she remembers, I guess I will have to find out myself. When the four of us stood up to get drinks, Camila grabbed Ally’s arm and pulled her towards the bed, she waved her hand with a smile to say that we had to go.

(Ally’s pov)

‘What’s wrong Mila?’ I asked her with a smile ‘Lo’ she said in a slow voice. ‘What about her?’ I asked. She opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something but she closed it again and grabbed the notebook and scribbled something down “What’s wrong with her? Or what happened? Why was she in a wheelchair? When I asked what happened she seemed embarrassed” it read. Shit.. I glanced back at the door to make sure there was no one there. ‘Lauren was a wreck while you were in a coma Mila’ I said, she bowed her head down clearly sad ‘as you may have seen already she lost a lot of weight, and she didn’t sleep’ I continued glancing back at the door again ‘her grades were slipping and the teachers are already thinking about her repeating her junior year, she visited you every day and would just sit in that chair beside your bed talking to you.’ I finished, she glanced back up and looked at me questioningly, she pointed to the word wheelchair on the notebook and I sighed. ‘While you were in the coma Lauren attempted suicide twice, well I don’t know if one was a suicide attempt but still..’ I said trailing off and Camila gasped, tears were welling up in her eyes. “what did she do” Camila scribbled down, ‘first time was when she was staying over at my house, she was cutting. Second time she overdosed and almost drowned in the bathroom, that’s why she was in the wheelchair’ I told her. ‘Lo.. c-cuts?’ She managed in a low raspy voice with a shocked expression on her face. I nodded ‘It was the second time I saw her doing it, the first time was after Keaton’s party’ she looked sad but glanced down again and shot me a hopeful look, at first I didn’t know what she meant but I got it when she grabbed my hands and started to roll up my sleeves, a huge smile formed on her lips when she saw no new scars but then remembered she was practically gone for six months, she frowned and looked up at me ‘I didn’t Mila’ I reassured her. She smiled and wrapped her small arms around me, she was tinier than ever and I started to wonder if she remembers her eating disorder. She grabbed my wrist and quickly pecked the scarred skin before rolling my sleeves back down.